Re: The "OUT OF CONTEXT" game quotes.

Z2 Fri May 10, 2013 8:34 pm

Okay, the beet thing: my tons of fun thing had an entry that summons a rain of pickles, and the entry after that summoned pickled beets. The beets, if eaten, awarded a +1 morale bonus and allowed a single 1 to be rerolled in the future (the regular pickles did the opposite.) Now, one player chose not to eat the mysterious beets for fear of something weird happening... and later he found himself sorely wanting the chance for that reroll. The player asked if he could borrow one from another player, and I said: ...you'll have to ask the magical beet spirit (that I just decided should be involved). The beet spirit, in return for helping him, demanded that he say the noted phrase... his response: screw that, I'll take the broken wing. The beet thing was a little silly, and a lot unplanned, but since it involved making a silly effect do something it normally wouldn't, I thought it an... appropriate thing to ask.

Whiteeyes Sat May 11, 2013 11:57 pm

Thank goodness I stole that guys pants!

So, nobody else see's flying cheese with their mothers face? Just me?

Congratulations. Your psychic attack attack causes the gibbering mouther's brain to explode. I don't even want to kow what thoughts you used that could make a gibbering mother's head explode.

- 4E

Cainx13 Mon May 13, 2013 10:25 am

Cainx13 wrote:"You crush the twig blight under you."

Me to the player of Gorgon the Minotaur as he crit failed an acrobatics check to cross a log bridge and scattered in to a square with a twig blight on it, rolled as if that was an attack.

"Moo."

Gorgon most of the time he felt it funny to do.

"She wants us to go find these kids and all she gives us is a potion? Okay, I'm a go intimidate her."

A questgiver gave them some potions and Gorgon took offence to that.

"A rule we have here is you have to take hatred: Slimes."

one of the players to a new player joining after I slinked a slime across the ceiling of the chamber and almost killed the tank with it.

Cainx13 Mon May 13, 2013 10:39 am

The next batch was from the session I dm'd for Fusion that involved digging through Revan's temple.

One of the Transvestites winks at you before disappearing

As a joke I had Ivankov from One Piece show up for about a min, leading to a guy who showed up late to complain he missed it.

"I make one of the skeleton's arms wave at [name removed]"
"I faint."

After having the box ghost deliver a cardboard box to the group I revealed that it was Old Snake's box and he had died in it. They of course looted his cool eyepatch, but they decided to terrorize Logan's character first.

"So I walk down the path, what do I see?"
"There is pure blackness until you see a pair of eyes open in front of you and hear a voice, 'HAAAAAIIIII'"
"I run screaming in the other direction"

Logan's character trying an unlit path and running into the DBZA Mr. Popo

"For I am Unprof!"
"Oh no, not him."

Ren'ava's commentary on the boss, who I made the Sith I made in ToR, who happened to look like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family in purple KISS makeup.

"You shudder in revulsion at the Undulating mounds of flesh you can see."
"Worth it"

Using the eyepatch to see if Unprof had any weapons on him and getting a bit more of a few than he would like.

Whiteeyes Mon May 13, 2013 10:49 am

That is one ugly peach.

Wait a minute, you planned that out over a year ago?

- 4E

Z2 Mon May 13, 2013 12:11 pm

Z2 wrote:"I attack the darkness"
"It turns out the house is made of flesh and bone"

"Well, I mean, you have to be made out of something, are you SUUURE I can't kill you?"
"...I have to go to the bathroom."

"Well then, apparently my sword is the sword that will pierce the heavens"

"...the enemy is now a steaming puddle"

"I immediately head to the children's books."

"We rescued her from a nudist colony."

"WHAT HAVE YOU IDIOTS DONE TO REALITY?!?"

"Barehanded Lumberjacking: because badass."

-Lunaris Civitas

1. The party was about to go to sleep in a suspicious cottage, and my waste-hating character still had a magic point... so she used sunderblade and 'attacked the darkness' to amuse herself. The darkness got killed.

2. A witch was taunting the party about her immortality, and I brandished a sunderblade and spoke of how it can cut through magic... the 'I have to go to the bathroom' was actually unrelated news from the DM, but it's more funny to believe that as the results of some REALLY GOOD intimidation.

3. Offhanded comment after destroying a mountain.

4. This is what happens when you deal twice of an elite monster's max HP with a single move

5. The party visited a library, and an out of touch but clever character decided it would be wisest to go to the children's books, because they'd contain the 'basic knowledge' in an easier to find, mnemonic-filled, context.

6. The party was in a civilization that required clothing, and the baby dragon refused to cooperate... this was our excuse.

7. ...You know what, I'm not going to explain this one.

8. This was the 'Rolz tagline' when a character was asked to chop wood for an npc, and decided that axes were for lesser ponies.

Whiteeyes Mon May 13, 2013 12:27 pm

You have to explain, that's part of the rules Mr. Beets.

Z2 Mon May 13, 2013 12:29 pm

Fine:

7. Tons of Fun

Lyntermas Wed May 15, 2013 3:28 am

"...Told you there was a ninja shop."

-The Shadow Walkers

Xel Unknown Fri May 17, 2013 7:08 pm

"Old King's News: The Campaign of 20% plot, and 80% of people giggling"

- Old Kings News (duh)

Whiteeyes Fri May 17, 2013 7:15 pm

I'm playing Fabi-Orc, we've got Charisma covered.

So we have a sorcerer, a paladin, a social rogue, and a summoner/dragon cavalier. The lowest Charisma we have is a 16. We are one fabulous looking party.

"You're going to murder the sorcerer over a steak?"
"You were going to attack him earlier."
"I was warning the drunkard off from the noble lady under my charge!"
"And I payed good money for a quality steak that he froze."

- the first session of our new Pathfinder game.

Z2 Sat May 18, 2013 6:15 pm

TOO LATE, THE TRAIN DONE BEEN SUPLEXED

Whiteeyes Sun May 19, 2013 8:21 pm

*rolls a natural 1 on a perform check* "Okay, I'm going to play the floor is lava instead. *rolls a 26*

the sorcerer now has a conga line.

They now know he to crowd surf.

Your sorcerer's bloodline is Swag, not Dragon.

Z2 Wed May 22, 2013 6:32 pm

Z2 wrote:"You now have a prehensile moustache"

"WHY WOULD YOU JUMP INTO THE INCINERATOR?"

"This monocle looks delicious"

"You go swimming in the evil (baby) ooze"

"Pick me up a (baby) frappuccino while you're out"

"BECAUSE EVERYTHING I EAT GOES STRAIGHT TO MY BUTT WHICH IS A BOAT!"

~The Old King's News

1. The inaugural roll on a mutation table, it hit one of the few beneficial ones: officially labelled 'tentacles' but it got reflavored in a hurry.

2. My exclamation when, rather than wait 10 seconds and talk to the npc, the party jumped into an incinerator.

3. Perception check crit fail.

4+5. Since it was a skype campaign, I got away with baby-eating jokes riiight up until I divulged that they were talking about Baybee - a honey and herb flavoring that's popular in the area.

6. The vaguely hysterical response to 'why don't you want this' by a robot whose top half was grafted onto a boat (for boon purposes).

Whiteeyes Wed May 22, 2013 10:33 pm

Roll for pants arrow.

Raven Dreamcatcher98 Fri May 24, 2013 1:05 am

"Okay, I'll distract the afro and you try to find the femur."

Whiteeyes Wed May 29, 2013 1:50 pm

You are about to literally **** the time continueim!

That was impulsive, irrational, and poorly thought out with potentially horrible consiquences. I have taught you well.

You have completed your quest, and have learned the ultimate technique of rock paper scissors.

Her Tuna Power is too great!

Whiteeyes Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:56 pm

Toes are basically feet fingers.

We'll fool the fools with fools gold.

Wait, our plan actually worked?

"Did you take the fortress while slaughtering all the defenders in a comedically easy fashion while causing surprisingly minimal damage to the fortress itself?"

"Um, yes?"

"Ha! I was right! Pay up!"

Team Anihilation will be joined by the Clan Gemcutter soldiers....warriors....militia....by Clan Gemcutter.

A1C Bronymous Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:51 pm

"We are interested in learning about the illegal racing scene. We are not Cops."

And he kind of CPR'd him to death.

-Shadow Walkers

Hayatecooper Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:06 am

"Oh no, it's equestria's version of Furries."

- Shadow Walkers

Xel Unknown Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:12 am

Me: "The Elevator Music was: *sings bits of the Song Gay Bar"
GM: "Cannoned!"

- Shadow Walkers

Whiteeyes Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:15 pm

Time for a massive block of exposition!

Rage-pedo! No environment is safe from me mother *****er!

The barbarian Lux charging while raging underwater at a black dragon, decapitating it.

Alright, horrific giant monsters!

Lux again, her usual reaction to this sort of situation. She loves fighting.

Hi there! We're the tour group for the Horrible Doom Fortress.

The changeling in the group bluffing her way into an evil doom fortress. It worked.

Oh my god, he's like C3P0 but gayer!

The party found a non-combatant living construct servant. This was one of my players reactions after listening to him for a bit.

Salsa is now a verb.

Describing the effect of a particularly nasty critical hit. "You proceed to salsa the enemy."
- my 4e campaign

Is that a mummy riding a manticore?

A dig at an actual encounter in my 4E game...as a random encounter. In this game, it was a quick cameo before it got crushed by a giant sand ship.
- my friends 3.5 campaign

God damned gods!

Titan's reaction to the politics of the gods. Ironically he himself ascended to god hood recently in the game.

Whoever invented trucks has my eternal hatred.

A running gag is that Titan is run over regularly by a flying interdimntional truck driven by a meth taking demigod seeking revenge.

Take that future Hitler!

Time travel to the future, and Hitler turns out to have traveled to the future. Titan said this after punching out Hitler's giant mech.
- my Mutants and Masterminds 2e game

Whiteeyes Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:46 pm

Nobody expects the Fruit Bananza Inquisition!

I'm no leather smith, but I'll try. *wham*

Your honor, at this time the prosecution would like to offer the defense attorney a massive bribe.
Sustained.

Z2 Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:20 pm

'Quadruple Ultimaaaate FAAACEHOOOOOOF!'

'Guys, I can always cut them off of you with sunderblade LATER if you get tired of them.'

'...This is why the story ends with us fighting Azathoth, isn't it?'

'I BLEW UP A MOUNTAIN! BE. MY. B*TCH.'

'Quickly, somepony, grab my tail! *grabs* ADVENTUUUUUURE!'

'You only have three 'Team Rockets' following you.'

'SON OF A DERP!'

1. One of the party members used 'facehoofing' excessively whenever things got out of his comfort zone; that started to get insufficient as the campaign got crazier, so we went for a more epic version.

2. A (probably overpowered) tons of fun entry caused the party to grow wings, and debate was made over whether or not to keep them.

3. I don't actually remember the specifics, but Doctor Whooves tipped us off that we might be fighting Azathoth... and the reason specifics were forgotten is because we screw around with the fabric of reality SO MUCH that individual instances get a little lost.

4. This was the tagline for an intimidate check... to make the villain the player's b*tch... after blowing up a mountain... (so that one's all nicely summed up in the quote itself.)

5. The baby dragon and the brawny one enacting a meme just for the lols.

6. Semi-out of character, the party was complaining about how thoroughly impossible it was to prevent villains from escaping; and one of the comments was 'don't we have like twenty team rockets chasing after us already? ... the quote above was the DMs actual response.

7. 3rd critical failure in 5 checks, I couldn't help but shout that line.

Cainx13 Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:23 am

Cainx13 wrote:
'You didn't have to take a dump on the statue.'
'I use the silver icon on my hammer to knock them out while apologizing'
'I skin the gator. You know I'm keeping that on my character sheet.'
- Lost Crown of Neverwinter campaign I ran.

1. there was a statue of the leader of the Were-rats that Gorgon decided to shit on.
2. Davven the paladin (Ranubis) was trying to diplomance and combat started and the silver of the hammer stopped regen.
3. nuff said with a gator in an encounter.

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