Corrupted Wish Game.

You are rescued by the heroes who somehow survived the last attack, but they end up trapped in a cave and though they do not wish to they have to cut you up and eat you over and over.

I wish I was a pokemon master.

You train for years, honing your skill to perfection and become the league champion. Then, a few months later, a ten year old kid who's only been training a few weeks comes and kicks your ass, disgracing you as league champion.

I wish things I didn't like would be censored. Also, Pingcode is silly.

[hidden]Granted, it's all been censored[/hidden]

[hidden]I wish that twist worked better with what Lapis actually said.[/hidden]

Look to my previous post.

I wish I was the greatest artist ever.

Lapis-Lazily wrote:I wish I was the greatest artist ever.

Granted. All the greater artists have died of the plague. Buyers are stuck with your work.

I wish I had a high-end mechanical keyboard like the CoolerMaster Storm or an ErgoDox

You are THE GREATEST ARTIST EVER! but the endless requests and commissions, drive you insane quite quickly...

Dam to slow...

You now own such a keyboard... But it get's damaged on travel to your place. So it's mostly useless now to you.

I wish to travel to Equestria and live there for the rest of my life (dieing of natural causes there too).

You are in Equestria sadly it’s the Fallout version and your life is miserable.

I wish I had access to the cursed springs from Ranma ½ and a high powered squirt gun.

Granted. The water gun has a small, nearly imperceptible leak in the exact right position to catch you in the face the first time you try to fire it.

I wish I weren't crazy enough to code as a way of procrastinating from coding.

You are now so sane that you end up like the Joker.

I wish I didn’t have writer’s block so often.

You can no longer write ever for anything.

I wish that I could retroactively change the Laws/Rules.

tygerburningbright wrote:I wish that I could retroactively change the Laws/Rules.

Granted. The other people who can do that keep retconning your changes, though. Net effect zero.

I wish I was an MLP/Equestria style griffon

Your friends leave you after a misunderstanding and a bad impression and then your life's work gets destroyed.

I wish that the letters U and I where next to each other in the alphabet

The alphabet has been changed but it was only due to a keter SCP which will slowly destroy all knowledge of the human race.

I wish I had one of the non-harmful SCP’s.

You gain, SCP-000-J, and some disbelieving friend of yours places an order for SCP-173... Sweet Dreams...


I wish for Earth to have Equestria Ponies co-existing with us humans.

They live alongside us but no one wants to be friends with you pony or human.

I wish I had another wish.

Your wish can not be processed at this time please wait 4-5 business years

I wish that all deliveries were instant.

All deliveries are instant, but a shipping mistake is made and you get SCP-173 instead of me.

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

Granted...

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it?!

You get your sandwich... You eat it... Then die... Nothing weird there.

I wish for a doomsday weapon.

It destroys the world, while you're on it. Everyone dies, the end.

I wish I was smarter than Tony Stark, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, and every other genius combined.

You are smart but sadly you are useless, like Reed Richards.

I wish life worked like a date-sim.

Granted, but you can only get as far as kissing stage without devoting 50 days to your charm stat.

I wish that I could be one of my DND characters.

Granted. You're Cards.

I wish these spammers would stop showing up every day like clockwork.

They stop because the site no longer exist.

I wish I could shape shift.

Pen Pony wrote:I wish I could shape shift.

@Ping: The furniture site? Again/Still?

@Pen: You can shift, but only into the shape of furniture acquired through a certain site in the UK.

I wish my friends would be more understanding of my earlier-granted feather and claws so I could rebuild my life's work into a griffon-suitable design.