Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

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Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Lapis-Lazily on Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:24 pm

Rule of the internet number 1. Do not talk about /b/.

"The FBI is still searching today for the elusive hacker going by the name Neckbeard. His reign of internet terror has hit over 100 web sites bringing about massive annoyance, server issues, and public inconvenience. The man or woman has been gathering large amounts of personal information, yet authorities can't figure out if anything has been done with it yet. Authorities are baffled as to the motivation behind these internet attacks. The source of the attacks has been linked to the infamous image board known as 4chan. When searched for questioning, the image board's owner, known online as Moot, was nowhere to be found. He is the prime suspect at the moment, but the only thing linking him to the attacks thus far is his ownership of the site. If you have any information on the whereabouts of Moot or the mysterious hacker, you are urged to call the police."
-Morning News Report

Today started as a fairly ordinary day for most of you. Certainly the crap going on with the internet was frustrating, but it would be solved soon enough, right? You all logged on to computers at some point, some to check Facebook, some to complain about the internet crisis, and some to mess with the porn folder of their now missing friends. At some point, each of you experienced something odd, a sudden power surge of the computer. The screen glowed white with intensity, electricity surged out and shocked you, and next thing you know you were standing in a white void space surrounded by six other people. You've all taken on the form of your preferred online avatar. For most of you, that means you look largely the same. Some of you look more attractive, and at least one of you is now the opposite gender, awkward. You can move about freely within an area, but it seems if you try to go too far you hit an invisible wall.

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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  kajisora on Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:52 pm

In the white void, one figure opens his (her?) eyes.
She is clothed in leather armor, with deep brown skin and short white hair
She lets out a deep sigh. Closes her eyes. Rubs her hands across her face, then opens her eyes again.
Not a student prank or hangover then. That only leaves one viable option.
"Aaaaahhh!"
she jumps back, eyes wild.Then looks down. Something about her balance was off.
She looks at her hands. feels the shape of her body and her face.
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
Finally she notices the rest of the people present.
"WHICH OF YOU SICKOS DID THIS TO ME!?"
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 4:46 pm

Ordinary milling about. A pretty routine day- in spite of being without the internet. This meant it was distinctly NOT an ordinary day because now how in the heck was Sarah going to watch Kill La Kill with Crunchyroll down? She sighed, scratching at her side and frustratedly logging into Facebook to vaguebook about it. She typed her (now professional sounding) email, "keaton98@live.com", her (much less professional) password, and was then jarred by the white flash of light.

When she... came to? she supposed that would be the word for it, there was a large, empty space with her and six other people. Definite... Btoom vibe here? Or is it more like Danganronpa? No, no, there'd be a school here... Sarah checked herself while she was pondering. She could feel tight armor on, but there was a stylized cloak over it, covering her entire body down to her mid ankles, which were clad in black socks and then perfectly average combat boots. It had the collar from a gakuran, which is weird considering she was a she. Where the collar would ordinarily have a tie or something was two off-center trapezoids, facing eachother. The cloak also somehow managed to have a hood and drawstrings. Not fashionable. Ugh. At her waist was a sword's sheath with a number of notches on it, but no sword. She could figure that out later, she guessed. Sarah was drawn out of her reverie by the leather-clad woman's shout. "WHICH OF YOU SICKOS DID THIS TO ME?" she bellowed.

Sarah flinches at the shout. "Di-did what!?" she hollers back. Apparently it was time for a shouting match. "And while we're at it, who are the rest of you all!?"


Last edited by maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:45 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Draco12387 on Sun Oct 13, 2013 5:33 pm

With the League of Legends Client updating, DerouX decided to check on his loyal fanbase on facebook, to see how his subscribers were dealing with his absence from their lives, at least until Neckbeard was stopped. After the electrical surge, DerouX wakes up in the blank white space, dressed in purple robes with gold accents, like a summoner. He blinks at the sudden outburst, then says "Huh. Usually my dreams have more in the way of surroundings than this."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:05 pm

Thalia sits up, examining her new ears and tail. Other than those, she is exactly the same as she was before getting sucked in, even down to her outfit. "For some reason I get the feeling this is no dream. Shit."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  AProcrastinatingWriter on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:05 pm

"Hee heh heh," Woolie chuckled to himself, leaning back in his brown faux-leather chair and reading once more. "Ah. That's actually pretty funny. I like that..."

Not to go into too much detail, but everybody's favorite former coconut-gatherer had had a very long day of playing video games, which sounds like a lot of fun and turns out not to be when one has to do legitimately funny commentary at the same time. Also, the game sucked. A lot.

So playing video games was the last thing on the mind of Woolie, the man of green, yellow, and salt, as he reclined in his...recliner...and perused the contents of the Two Best Friends' Facebook page. Usually, he found the jokes about him being a filthy liar to be moderately offensive and worse yet somewhat overused, but that one he just saw was pretty freakin' inspired. He could respect a good pun.

After a brief moment of closing his eyes (not napping - he'd learned his lesson about that last time), Woolie opened them once more, slightly earlier than he planned. On the screen, a pinprick of light that shouldn't have been there was slowly growing in size, like an oil spill on the water. "Ah, man..." he groaned out, leaning in closer. "I just got this computer a couple weeks a-"

The pinprick suddenly flared, then disappeared. Woolie disappeared with it, screaming like a little girl.




"Urrruuugh,"
Woolie stated eloquently, slowly sitting up. Screw this "suddenly standing in a white void" narrative nonsense, Woolie needed to lie down for a few minutes. "What just..." he looked around, squinting at the white void and the other people therein. "Oh, you have got to be..."

Woolie finished standing up, revealing...himself...in all his perverse glory. A large black man with an odd tan hat and green and yellow dreads, Woolie cut a moderately imposing figure until you looked into his eyes, which were clearly those of a cuddly kitten. A mutant kitten, considering the general chlorophyllian color scheme Woolie was rocking, but that's getting off track. His green jacket covered a blue shirt with the letters "HMD" written across it in blocky white, and what looked to be a lightsaber, of all things, hung off the waistline of his green jeans. His tennis shoes were green, too.

"...you have got to be kidding me." Woolie stated flatly. "Ugh. No." A deep inhalation."I did not sign up for Digimon."


Last edited by AProcrastinatingWriter on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Zarhon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:21 pm

Bartholomew F. Gus was standing idle, dressed in little more than his boxers, undershirt, warm brown fuzzy bathrobe and matching brown slippers. In one hand, he held his favorite tea-mug, filled with a mixture of his daily medication and lukewarm tea. His first feelings were that of relief that the flash and shock from that blasted computer didn't appear to have messed up his eyesight or pacemaker. His relief quickly changed into confusion upon examining his new surroundings.

"Sarah, something went wrong with the computer again! That, or call the hospital, cause I think I made a mix-up with my medicine, cause I'm seeing some really freaky sh-things here! Sarah?", he called out to his daughter, receiving no reply.

He took off his reading glasses, wiped them on his robe a bit, then put them on again, expecting a less-insane sight. As such did not come to pass, his confusion quickly turned to a sense of "what-the-hell" as he took in the appearance of the other  (notably younger) individuals around him. This was not good for his blood pressure.

"Okay, as the apparent senior here, I'd like to know two things: First, are you real or am I hallucinating you... people, I guess? Second, if you aren't, is this normal for... uhm, what's it called again, Facebook? Yeah, Facebook? I think I messed up something when I tried to get on that."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:43 pm

Sarah's ears prick up ever so slightly at the mention of Digimon. Stay cool.

Then the old man goes off and says her name.

"E-excuse me, sir?" Sarah asks, staring at the old man. Her mouth opens in slight shock. I have never seen this person before how does he know my name. It doesn't SEEM like he was asking for her specifically, so she shrugged it off as babbling. Maybe there was some kind of phenomenon at work too? "I-I don't know what's gone wrong, I-I was just logging in to Facebook, an-and I-" Sarah stutters along. "You were too, right? Were we all logging into Facebook?"

Is Facebook Sword Art Online now? ...Farm Art Online? Ew ugh oh god no. Sarah shudders internally, and then taps her finger on the sheath about her waist. "So... if we're all... wherever here is, why don't we get to know each other? I'm Sarah, Sarah Keaton. I'm a freshman at Coast High, in Cali."


Last edited by maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : I need to make sure the color of pink is correct)
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:49 pm

"A freshman? Lame. I don't think your real name will do you any good here. You can call me Thalia."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Draco12387 on Sun Oct 13, 2013 6:51 pm

"Coast High? Huh, that's where I went to school. Though, I would be a senior, so I doubt we know each other. I guess that means that this isn't a dream then? Though, if it isn't, then why am I dressed like this?" DerouX wonders aloud, looking at his robes, which he recognizes to be the robes of a summoner. "Anyways, I'm DerouX. And I have no idea what's going on here, I just logged into facebook too."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:02 pm

"'scuse me for being young, little miss dreary," Sarah mutters. She assesses the girl, pausing on her ears. "What's uh, with your ears?"

Sarah regards the robed figure. "You went to my school? Well, cool. But uh, what kind of name is Der-Rocks?" Sarah asks, tripping over the pronunciation of the Summoner name. "And yeah, dream doesn't seem right. I would know someone in my dreams."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:03 pm

"What, you've never heard of a neko before? Anyway, whatever is going on here, it's just my luck. Couldn't possibly get any worse, right?"

Meta:
Rolling Laughter. Unless you have any objections to any effects I have on my table, Lapis, I'm just going to get it done quick.
99) 99 bottles of beer on the wall… - 99 bottles of cheap-ass beer appear around you. Looks like it’s time for drank!

"Ah, sweet, sweet alcohol. Just when I need you most!" Thalia walks up to one of the bottles, pops it open, and takes a swig.
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Draco12387 on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:07 pm

"DerouX, spelled D-E-R-O-U-X" DerouX sounds annoyed at the mispronounciation. "It's my summoner name, the name that everyone will know me by once I make it to the pro league. I would be there too, but I keep getting idiot teammates." He mutters, reaching for one of the bottles that have appeared to drown out his misery at not being Challenger tier. "How'd you do that, by the way?" He asks Thalia.
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:14 pm

"Weird-ass shit just happens whenever i say 'what could possibly go wrong?'"

Meta:
Moar Laftarz!
16) The next creature you look at falls deeply, madly in love with you.

She looks at DerouX. "Catch my drift?"
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:14 pm

Maintain appearances. Of course I've seen one before, but I can't let them know that. "No, of course I haven't! Wh- How does that even, did a scientist splice you with a cat or something!?" Sarah fumes.

"I'm sorry, summoner name? Everyone will know me by... pro league? Oh, are you an athlete? So am I, I swim! Are you in one of the teams at school?"

She went over the situation in her head once more. DerouX seemed alright if a little off, but Thalia wa- wait was that liquor where did she get that.

"Where did tha- I don-" Sarah was, at this point, now beyond being able to speak, her ability toucan now far along in flight.
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  AProcrastinatingWriter on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:16 pm

"No, sir, this isn't normal for Facebook. At all." Woolie said over the antics of the others, looking utterly weary. "Look, alright, fine, I'm...I'm Woolie Madden. Hey. What's up? Uh..." he scratched his cheek for a few moments, looking around. "I'm, uh, college graduate, I think, and..." he blinked a couple times. "I think. Get sucked into the computer, and lose my memory. Double dose of unoriginality. Okay. Well, I know that I am part of an online web series called Two Best Friends Play, which..."

Ping.

Woolie gestured while saying this last sentence, and simultaneously a video, framed by the familiar visage of Youtube, showed up above his palm. "Huh. That's...actually pretty cool. So yeah, we're like that. This was the early days, where it was just M&P, and I came in later...anyway. I guess that pretty much confirms I'm stuck on the internet, aaaand that from the look of things, you guys are my bunkmates. Congrats!"


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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Zarhon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:17 pm

Gus has several words fly right over his head, along with the beer bottles. Neko? He has more pressing concerns avoiding the beer mixing with the medicine in his tea, than pondering on foreign lingo, though.

"College kids? That explains the guy with the dreads. I guess. And the beer. Man, I'm out of place here. You says you're Sarah, right? That's a weird coincidence - same name as my daughter's. You can call me Gus, I guess. What the hell kind of a name is Deroughex, though? And what the hell is a summoner? One of those guys those religion nuts buzz about so much on TV? Nice bathrobe, by the way.", Gus says, pointing with his mug at the purple-robed teenager. "Is this some kind of Renaissance fair?"


Last edited by Zarhon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:19 pm

"You, little Fresh-meat, have no imagination or life whatsoever. If you have ever been anywhere further than facebook, or even just seen some of my friends' profile pictures, or even my own, you would know what a neko is."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Draco12387 on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:20 pm

DerouX blinks, feeling struck by a bolt of lightning. He ignores everyone else, focusing on the object of his affection, Thalia. " Yeah, I get it. By the way, have I told you how beautiful you look? I love your cat ears too, Ahri is one of my favorite champions. Would you mind telling me more about yourself? I know we've just met, but I feel like I need to get to know you better." DerouX stumbles over the words, having never felt too comfortable talking to girls before, and now he's talking to what he knows to be his one true love.
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:26 pm

"Are you being serious? I hope not. I really, really hope not, because that would suck for both of us, but mostly for you. Are you?" She looks at DerouX, a mixed look of surprise, concern, and not caring on her face.
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Draco12387 on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:28 pm

"I am completely serious. There is nothing I have felt more sure of in my life." DerouX says, still with a lovestruck expression.
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:32 pm

Thalia facepalms. "Really? Really? Why does this always happen to me? Why?"
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:32 pm

"Stuck on the internet?" Sarah asks, pulling herself together a bit more. "Alright then, what does being stuck on the internet even mean then? That's as vague as being stuck in a cave. Only caves have walls."

And she had her answer about why the old man- Gus- was saying her name. "That is quite a coincidence," Sarah says, giggling slightly. The old man was sane.

Sarah's expression darkens at Thalia's jab. "You don't know me, so take your opinion and shove it."

While she was thinking about things that aren't sane, what the actual heck was going on with DerouX?

...All this paled in comparison to the fact that if Woolie could do that thing with his palm it meant she could watch the most recent episode of Kill La Kill. She looked around for somewhere private, but there was only the empty white void. Dang.


Last edited by maswoon on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:33 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : spelling is hard sometimes)
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Draco12387 on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:34 pm

"I don't know, but meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to me."
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Re: Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Post  Copper Rose on Sun Oct 13, 2013 7:40 pm

"Ugh. Gag me with a spoon." She downs the rest of her bottle of beer, then pops open another. "Sweet drunkenness, throw my cares away!"

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