AProcrastinatingDestinies

This is a list of the destinies I have created in their most basic form. They all need work. However, I do not think I have received enough in the way of advice from more than one source in order to edit them, and the few times I have, I've actually gotten conflicting advice more often than not. Or, once, advice that just straight-up missed the point. No, I will never mention when that was or who did it.

So of course I come to you guys for help. Don't worry, I plan on returning the favor; first thing I'm doing after this is going around to some topics that catch my interest and shooting some advice of my own into the metaphorical stratosphere. In the meantime...

Knighthood

Spoiler:

Legend

Legend:

The Everypony

The Everypony:

Wordsmith

Wordsmith:

Audiencemancer

Audiencemancer:

Working on these one at a time, a few thoughts, since you were kind enough to comment on Master Gardener:

AProcrastinatingWriter wrote:
Legend

Legend:

Labor: A bit bland, to be honest. An Element of Generosity can do that already. Also, destinies are great places to do things besides skill bonuses. I don't really have any ideas to replace it, though something like "You can no longer critically fail when rolling your Cutie Mark skill" might be an interesting place to start. ("Being unable to fail" sounds pretty legendary, after all.) Some sort of skill bonus could still work, it's just...bland.

Inspire: Inspire's pretty good, I like this one, though I think that extending CMC's to non-ponies/zebras might be a little much.

Stuff of Legend: Hmm, where to start. First of all, does "Weekly" mean an in-game week? Secondly, to me it's sort of a to-may-to/to-mah-to thing: a Cutie Mark Critical (CMC) IS a legendary feat, and vice-versa (given how the Sonic Rain-boom was said to be "the stuff of legends"). Thus, my preference (and it is only my preference) would be to see something that makes it easier to get a CMC rather than a power with such a small chance of activating that a player might never actually see it in a game. Perhaps something like:
Stuff of Legend Daily Interrupt
Trigger: You roll a check in your Cutie Mark skill.
Effect: You may, after seeing the result of the check, choose to make it a Cutie Mark Critical if the result is 15 or higher.

Anyway, just my 2¢ worth.

Your 2 cents is certainly appreciated.

And to be honest, I hadn't thought of the things you're saying at all, so your viewpoint is most assuredly valuable here. You may be right that extending CMCs to non cutie-marks may be a bit much, but I still want that power to affect them in SOME way. Perhaps they would simply get a +4 boost to all their skills? A bit boring, but...maybe?

Maybe making Labor...erm, worthy?...is as simple a matter as making it useable twice or more a day, then potentially moving it up in the tier list?

As for Stuff of Legend, I get where you're coming from regards the Cutie Mark Critical vs. Legendary Feat thing. Honestly. Seems obvious in retrospect. But we're both overlooking a drawback the power suddenly has now that Inspire might not hand out Cutie Marks to the markless - including the player: how can the player expect to get a cutie mark critical at all if the game mechanics no longer allow him to? Or, to put it another way, how can we in good conscience offer up the use of a Destiny that is Cutie-Mark Only?

Hmmm, you bring up some interesting points. Probably the most interesting is your last one, about making a destiny only for those with cutie marks (ponies/zebras). I don't see too much of a problem with it, although it might be an interesting exercise to re-write so that it has different effects depending on whether or not the taker has a cutie mark.

For Inspire, you could have it give a boost to already-trained skills, or perhaps give training another skill. Or maybe even a boost to untrained skills, a la Applejack of All Trades.

Labor could possibly work if you increase it to something like +20 so that only dedicated talents like Yee-Haw! and The Stare could compare (and those require a Magic Point). I think the idea of not being able to critically fail in your cutie mark skill might be "low-level" enough to fit in there as well.

Now, back to the dilemma of CMCs for non-cutie mark races...hmm. What if Legend allowed non-cutie mark races (NCMRs) to mimic the effect of having a cutie mark? Something like this:
Labor: Daily +20 to next skill check.
CMR: No crit failing in CM skill.
NCMR: Choose one already trained skill and get +2 to it for +5 total.

Inspire: Increase CMC range by +1 for appropriate creatures in presence (including self if applicable). NCMRs in presence get [something, +1 to untrained skill, +2 to trained skills, additional training, whatever.]
CMR: [something, haven't thought of anything yet]
NCMR: You may now get CMCs in skill you chose for Labor on a natural 20.

Stuff of Legend: [maybe increase the range of all critical successes (not just CM ones) from 20 to 19-20?]
CMR: [maybe something like what I suggested, being able to once daily turn a cutie mark roll into a CMC if it's above 15, or something like that. Maybe just increase the range again by +1]
NCMR: Your CMC range increases by +1 to 19-20.

Admittedly, it still favors CMRs slightly, being able to not crit fail in their CM skill and possibly make CMCs once a day if they're lucky. On the other hand, it allows NCMRs to get CMCs in a skill, and even gives them an expanded range for it (19-20), which is better than a unicorn, pegasus, or zebra, even at level 10. I dunno, what do you think?

I still don't think it's a good idea for a Destiny to distinguish between those with Cutie Marks and those without. I was trying to approximate an equal treatment of everypony, etc., with what I had, but to have a distinctly different effect depending on who has what seems antithetical to the game's structure to me.

Well, that's fine, it's your idea after all. You could always try re-writing it in such a way that it doesn't refer to cutie marks or cutie mark criticals at all, I suppose.

Also, I do plan to provide feedback on the rest of your ideas, when I find the time...

Heh. Not like I don't have a dozen things I still need to do and a bunch of time no time at all to do them in.

Thank you for your input. Despite the arguments I've brought up, I am sincerely taking everything you have to say into mind. Thanks again!

I promised more feedback, and lo! I deliver.

AProcrastinatingWriter wrote:Wordsmith

Wordsmith:

So first of all, is The Wordsmith all about the written word, or just about being good with words in general? The second and third tiers seem to support the former, while the first tier has shades of the latter (since most Persuasion checks involve conversation rather than writing). I'm going to assume it's supposed to be mainly focused on writing for purposes of this feedback. Anyway, on to specifics:

The Right Word – To reiterate slightly what I said about Legend, destinies are great for making new talents and abilities rather than simply adding bonuses to skill checks. Not that you necessarily shouldn't, but if you look at the official destinies very few of them have bonuses to skill checks in them. I know it's easy to add a skill bonus and harder to think up new powers, but it definitely makes a destiny "pop" in my mind. Also, the free Freaky Knowledge seems a little out of place, especially if, as you point out, people already have Freaky Knowledge in those subjects. I'm going to leave this one alone for the moment and continue on to...

Detail Notes – Now, this I like. A very neat idea here. One slight problem might be the "what the roll is for" part, since it's easy to write "Mechanics, 22, for Lockpicking", but what would you write for a Persuasion check, since those can be used for many, often hard-to-define uses? What do you think of making it just a skill and roll (e.g. Mechanics, 22 or Persuasion, 26), and limiting it to 1/day? Since you could still make as many as you wanted, a player could become a sort of Swiss-Army-Knife after a week or two. I could see it working well as-is, though.

Read Between the Lines – Another neat idea. It seems pretty balanced as is, though I have a few questions: if the writer is someone who would be hostile to the group, is the phantasmal image also going to be hostile (not answering questions, etc.)? Would someone be able to use the Element of Kindness on them? Also, would they count as "helpless" for the purposes of the Element of Honesty, or can they not be interfered with in any way?

Going back to The Right Word, I'd love to see it do something akin to what you've come up with for the last two tiers. Maybe the Persuasion bonus could only apply to things you write, and you could have the ability to write pamphlets to persuade people to your way of thinking. (Heh, maybe another idea for a level 10 bonus could be writing a best-selling book, similar to the level 10 tier for the Inventor official destiny.) Surprise me with a cool new idea!

In order to save time, I'll write my responses inside your quote, in bold. You'll know it's me talking when, well, the text is bold.

Philadelphus wrote:I promised more feedback, and lo! I deliver. Thank you very much!

So first of all, is The Wordsmith all about the written word, or just about being good with words in general? The second and third tiers seem to support the former, while the first tier has shades of the latter (since most Persuasion checks involve conversation rather than writing). I'm going to assume it's supposed to be mainly focused on writing for purposes of this feedback. Why can't it be both? It seems logical to me that an expert writer would be able to "spice up" their everyday conversation and think quickly on their feet. Perhaps the results won't be as polished as an edited novella, but still it seems to me that an author would have a leg-up on "normal" people. Anyway, on to specifics:

The Right Word – To reiterate slightly what I said about Legend, destinies are great for making new talents and abilities rather than simply adding bonuses to skill checks. Not that you necessarily shouldn't, but if you look at the official destinies very few of them have bonuses to skill checks in them. I know it's easy to add a skill bonus and harder to think up new powers, but it definitely makes a destiny "pop" in my mind. Also, the free Freaky Knowledge seems a little out of place, especially if, as you point out, people already have Freaky Knowledge in those subjects. Yeah, you're right. I think I may have a new idea though! Whether it's enough I don't know, but it's definitely a step in the right direction. I'm going to leave this one alone for the moment and continue on to...

Detail Notes – Now, this I like. A very neat idea here. One slight problem might be the "what the roll is for" part, since it's easy to write "Mechanics, 22, for Lockpicking", but what would you write for a Persuasion check, since those can be used for many, often hard-to-define uses? What do you think of making it just a skill and roll (e.g. Mechanics, 22 or Persuasion, 26), and limiting it to 1/day? That actually sounds pretty good, Philadelphus. I suppose that's why you're the expert. . Since you could still make as many as you wanted, a player could become a sort of Swiss-Army-Knife after a week or two. I could see it working well as-is, though.

Read Between the Lines – Another neat idea. It seems pretty balanced as is, though I have a few questions: if the writer is someone who would be hostile to the group, is the phantasmal image also going to be hostile (not answering questions, etc.)? Would someone be able to use the Element of Kindness on them? Also, would they count as "helpless" for the purposes of the Element of Honesty, or can they not be interfered with in any way? These are all excellent questions I plan on dealing with in a few minutes.

Going back to The Right Word, I'd love to see it do something akin to what you've come up with for the last two tiers. Maybe the Persuasion bonus could only apply to things you write, and you could have the ability to write pamphlets to persuade people to your way of thinking. (Heh, maybe another idea for a level 10 bonus could be writing a best-selling book, similar to the level 10 tier for the Inventor official destiny.) Surprise me with a cool new idea! fiiiiiine

Editing first post to match the criticisms...NOW.

Maybe a good way to improve Legend would be to build it as a mix of Freaky Knowledge and a Cutie Mark? I'm not totally sure how you'd built it. But have it more or less start off with giving one a "Legendary Feat" That you get gives a bounes skill point to one skill that'd stack with training and/or a cutie mark? I'm suggesting this because how I see Legend is now strikes me as too broad and people become Legendary by doing something Legendary or becoming insanely skilled in some type of task? So it's while on paper it acts like having a second cutie mark that also adds more power to a very specific task that you do? Being totally new at this sort of thing, I might just be off my rocker and no matter what it's upto you how you want your Destiny to be flavored like and stuff.

Xel Unknown wrote:Maybe a good way to improve Legend would be to build it as a mix of Freaky Knowledge and a Cutie Mark? I'm not totally sure how you'd built it. But have it more or less start off with giving one a "Legendary Feat" That you get gives a bounes skill point to one skill that'd stack with training and/or a cutie mark? I'm suggesting this because how I see Legend is now strikes me as too broad and people become Legendary by doing something Legendary or becoming insanely skilled in some type of task? So it's while on paper it acts like having a second cutie mark that also adds more power to a very specific task that you do? Being totally new at this sort of thing, I might just be off my rocker and no matter what it's upto you how you want your Destiny to be flavored like and stuff.

You are good at thinking, my friend, and I will edit in your suggestions as soon as my eyes don't feel like shower curtains.

AProcrastinatingWriter wrote:In order to save time, I'll write my responses inside your quote, in bold. You'll know it's me talking when, well, the text is bold.

Philadelphus wrote:I promised more feedback, and lo! I deliver. Thank you very much!

So first of all, is The Wordsmith all about the written word, or just about being good with words in general? <snip> Why can't it be both? It seems logical to me that an expert writer would be able to "spice up" their everyday conversation and think quickly on their feet. Perhaps the results won't be as polished as an edited novella, but still it seems to me that an author would have a leg-up on "normal" people.
No reason it can't, it just seemed that the second and third tier were focused specifically on the written word so I wasn't sure.

Detailed Notes – Now, this I like. A very neat idea here. <snip> That actually sounds pretty good, Philadelphus. I suppose that's why you're the expert. .
Oh, thanks, but I'm no expert. I just have the ability to occasionally foresee problems that might logically arise.

Aha! Edited and revised, I see. I love your idea for The Right Word – I think it could lead to some hilarious situations:
"Ok, the word is 'banana'."
"But I was just trying to convince the guard to leave his post!"
And yes, I'm sure most GMs would make better use of it, but it would be funny to see people working up crazy convoluted speeches to convince NPCs.

Detailed Notes is simple, concise, and potentially quite useful. Great work!

For Read Between The Lines, by saying that the image can't make Athletics or Precision checks are you basically saying that it's immaterial and cannot interact physically? Also, I may just be a little slow on the uptake here, but I still can't tell if I could use the Elements of Honesty or Kindness on the image. Or are you implying they can by saying that the image has all the stats of the writer? I'm confused, sorry.
Besides that, this looks like a pretty good destiny to me.

Let's see, everything else is in order, am about to do another round of editing with Phil's and Xel's suggestions...just one thing to...not address, but explain:

Philadelphus wrote:For Read Between The Lines, by saying that the image can't make Athletics or Precision checks are you basically saying that it's immaterial and cannot interact physically? Also, I may just be a little slow on the uptake here, but I still can't tell if I could use the Elements of Honesty or Kindness on the image. Or are you implying they can by saying that the image has all the stats of the writer? I'm confused, sorry.
Besides that, this looks like a pretty good destiny to me.

Yeah I guess I was more tired that I thought because that was some pretty obtuse writing I did. Don't worry - I'mma fixin' it.

AProcrastinatingWriter wrote:
Legend

Legend:

Wow... I love these improvements, it really makes it looks awesome in my mind. I'm already wanting to build a character that'd get this awesome looking Density. Deeply hope this or at lest a version of this gets in all the more now.

Now to give my two bits about how the skills are as of right now: (remember this is coming form a newb's viewpoint. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.)

Labor - This was totally what I was thinking when I suggested what I had said and looks great. But needs to slightly be a little more clear on the difference between a Legendary Feat and a CMC or something... Cause while yeah I agree they should be mostly the same, but just something feels missing on how they differ. Or maybe it's just cause only this part even talks about "Legendary Feats" it's feeling off to me... Also I'd feel one should be able to mix the Legendary Feat with their Cutie Mark and that'd so... Something worthwhile I'd guess... Cause a Trained skill can be a Cutie Mark Skill so I'd argue the same logic should apply to this and if one does this intend of getting a Second "Cutie Mark" they'd get a Super Cutie Mark for some reason, maybe they get to reroll any failures if they make one in their Cutie Mark Skill when they fail such a skill check? But only get one reroll... Just a suggestion. Don't think that'd make it too powerful and would flavor it differently then all the ones that let one reroll getting natural 1's... Or maybe you should have them be able to reroll 1's when getting such failoures... It's upto you how you wanta play such a mixture of the two skills.

Inspire - BUCKING AWESOME!!! <3 I just love this so much right now... It just says "I'm awesome and I make everyone awesome because I'm awesome." to me... And that's just fun! To me it feels like it gives fair and totally blanced skills buffs to both those with Cutie Marks and non-Cutie Marked PCs. But like I said with Labor it should either help make it clear if this it helps making Legendary Feat's trigger in 19 or not... Cause it's not totally clear, I'd guess so, but it might not. Also makes me wonder does a non-Cutie Marked PC that takes this Density be able to get a magic point on getting a 20 on a trained skill or do they get just a 19-20 level power to make their Legendary Feat? Or do they get both? Again this isn't totally clear to me... but besides these minor points looks really cool and I'd totally want this Density just for this Level 7 skill... It's a really cool idea. :3

Stuff of Legend - Sadly this one feels underwealming... I'm not sure how to help it other then making it daily, but still... It feels very lacking but it's a good skill to have.