The "What If?" game!

I'd win the war for Australia.

What if the internet was shut down on the grounds of public safety?

Angry nerds would make the public very unsafe.

What if you were a pair of werepants?

I'd be effectively immortal, but much more prone to wrinkling.

What if gumdrops licked you whenever you ate them?

Then we'd be living in Soviet Russia.

?sdrawkcab depyt saw gnihtyreve fi tahW

Then haveing an Encyclopaedic Knowledge palindromes would be very helpful

What if no one could forget anything?

It would be a great day for progress and art, but a very poor one for emotional wellness.

What if, instead of fire, combustion reactions produced guinea pigs?

Well then obviously stroking a guinea pig would increase the rate of heat death across the universe.

Why are you, what are you here, and who is your purpose?

We're sorry, but you forgot to phrase your response in the form of a 'what if' question.

What if pants could speak?

Then spilling hot soup would have twice as much screaming

What if our trope page was (ever) updated?

People like me would have a higher chance of actually knowing that we had one...

What if Indonesia used pork as a currency?

then The Leaders of Islam would kick the entire country out of the religion

What if we were in the Eternal September?

We totally already are, but I guess we could get some pretty leaves.

What if you managed to figure out that my questions are basically Mad Libs at this point?

Then noun would adverb run and verb the information to every noun!

What if the reason we haven't had contact with alien life is because they find us too boring?

Then they would be very surprised when we start conquering planets

What if life was just a giant temporal loop?

Then they would be very surprised when we start conquering planets

What if life was just a giant temporal loop?

Then they would *bizoirp* Ahh thanks for fixing that Doctor.

What if Doctor Who was real?

Then he would have written a self insert shipping himself with Derpy

What if everything was as FUN hard as Dwarf Fortress?

I would have given up on life AGEs ago

What if clouds were actually sheep trapped in the sky?

There would be an entirely different reason for dogs howling at the sky.

What if cats could teleport?

Then The paranoia levels in dogs would sky rocket

What if Revolver Ocelot was an Ocelot?

His meowing would be slightly less stupid.

What if snake was a snake?

Then his code name would have been solid snail

What if you had sight beyond sight?

Lion-O would totally sue me.

What would you say if I recommended a book that includes the dramatic line "Becaus by fate even the gods are cast down, weep ye all with me!"?

I'd say, "Unless that line is uttered by an idiot, I'm not interested: I am morally opposed to the concept of fate."

What if I recommended a book that contained the phrase, "Ebil dorpen washiwashi wabbahooblebees." ?

Then I would ask was that said by a drunk or a loon?

What if I recommended the dramatic reading of a utter piece of garbage?