Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Hearing the sounds of violence, Gus is roused from his nap in the recliner. "Man, this recliner is too comfy for my own good. Oh, hey free entertainment! Wow, this is better than TV! Normally, PETA would be all over this kind of thing! No annoying media watchdogs on the Internet, I'm guessing?", Gus muses from his flying recliner. "Dang, wish I had some popcorn. Anyway, not to interrupt your sudden inexplicable bout of teenager ultraviolence, but why'd you kill that deer?"

"So she could gain its power!" Woolie said, suddenly excited that this actually appeared to be the case instead of the normal quasi-cliched fantasy hook joke it usually was. "Where can I find a komodo dragon around here?"

"That deer appeared right after you pushed the green button." DerouX notes. "Do you know what ,exactly, that thing does? I mean, the effects have seemed pretty random to me, but nothing too terrible. If you tried it again, we might be able to work out a pattern."

"Pressing the mysterious, seemingly random-effect causing green button repeatedly? What could possibly go wrong!"

Laughter! :

Thalia looks herself over. Black fur, nose to tail. "Well, at least I'm not a white or spotted rabit."

You are all now bunnies for 8 hours. You are still sentient, and can talk, but you're bunnies. Cute, fluffy bunnies.

Sarah stares at Thalia. "Change me back right now, I swear to God," Sarah threatens, her whiskers twitching in a less-than-threatening manner.

As she shrinks into Bunny form, her clothes again collapse around her, seemingly a recurring situation. "This is just... incredibly inconvenient," she groans, trying to acclimate (poorly) to her new form.

DerouX looks at his new form. "Nope, fuck this, I hate Teemo." He declares quickly, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Once it clears, DerouX looks just as he did before.

Meta:

"So, now that we're all cute fluffy bunnies, why don't you press that Green button of yours? It can't really get any worse, right? Who knows, maybe the effects will overwrite or something. Maybe we'll even figure more about how it works." DerouX remarks cynically.

"Dude, you need to get over this green buton thing. You remember the time when it gave me amnesia? Or the time it turned me into a kid? I don't think it's a benevolent button," she argues back, but her paw was twitching around the button. A part of her was incredibly curious about what would happen if she did push it.

"What about that deer? That was pretty cool. I don't think it's a benevolent button either, but it seems like those effects aren't actual physical harm. You're a complete anime dweeb, right? Are the effects consisten with that?" DerouX says, completely unaware of the fact that he might be pissing Sarah off by saying things like 'complete anime dweeb' in his speculation about the source of the effects.

"I-idiot!" she squeaks, resisting the urge to use the Japanese word for it, and again clenching her ...paw around, what is, unfortunately, not the Namae No Nai. Again she rants at DerouX, whiskers twitching wrathfully. "I mean, sure! I'm a huge weeaboo, but at least use I'm still in school, you idiot dropout gamer! I bet you sit in your parent's basement all day and play your stupid little game all damn day, huh?" Sarah says, satisfied with her righteous, bunny indignation.

Rebooting

Jonny blinks a bit. Why was everyone now-

Why do I bother? Why?

Jonny was a rather generic looking brown bunny with a pink nose.

"...Right, of course."

He sighed a bit, pointing up at the digital assistants with a...paw.

"Okay, so, how about we take advantage of the floaty conveniences so we can actually keep moving? I'm... I think I just want to get wherever we're going and get this over with."

The HUD had at least resized itself to fit, as well as the vest, but everything else was doing the same as it did with Sarah. That's... interesting.

"Huh. I guess the item types are specific for some reason, wonder if..."

He tries, and finds out he can still fly.

"...Right. So, I guess we all just look like bunnies, not much else. Have I mentioned how little sense this all makes? This is going to be decidedly awkward if we don't change back."

Or possibly worse if we don't auto re-equip clothes...

....
That just happened.
Apparently, I am a bunny.
....
That poor deer. Ohh well, I guess it was just a simulation or something.
...
So. Bunnies.
Kaji hops around experimentally for a bit. That would make two body swaps in as many days. As she spies her reflection in the dagger she dropped at the sudden change (Dark brown with white patches), she can't help but let out a squeek.
"I'm ADORABLE."
Oops. Glad bunnies don't blush.
"Sue me. I like rabbits."

Gus, now a large old, brown-furred hare with somewhat tattered fur, speaks up: "You're doing this on purpose now, aren't you? Mess with the old guy that doesn't get how the Internet works? I mean, it would be sort of amusing, if it didn't remind me of Watership Down."

"Hopefully this'll all just blow over like it did when I was turned into a kid or whatever..." Sarah chitters, annoyed at her helium-esque voice. "Should we maybe wait for a few hours?"

"Okay," said Woolie, who...looked exactly the same, except he had bunny ears and was about seven times as short as he was before. "Don't eat the animals to gain their power. I...got it." He looked around. "You know, you know, I'm fine with Watership Down so long as it doesn't mean we're getting Happy freaking Tree Friends up in this joint."

DerouX scoffs at Sarah. "Yeah, that's exactly what I do. But tell me, if there was a job where all you had to do was watch anime for 12 hours a day, and get paid over 100,000 for doing that, and if you watched enough anime, you would get that job, what would you do with all your time?"

"If I'm not mistaken, don't you need to be really super good at the game to do that though? I mean, there's no skill involved in watching anime. It's just looking at things. We learned about these in class the other day... I think it was a false analogy? You're making one of those."

"I'm so pro, though. I'd already be on a team if it wasn't for my soloqueue teamates and DDOSing." DerouX boasts. "But the point is, I can achieve that. And this is a hypothetical scenario, the fact that watching anime isn't skill based doesn't matter. The question is, if you could make a career of what you obviously enjoy doing very much, would you?"

"Guys. Digital Athleticism falls under the same category as regular athletes. For every one person who breaks in, there are a few thousand people who chase the goal endlessly, doomed to eternal twilight of being good but unknown, or known but not good enough."

He just rubs at his bunny nose.

"Have we officially voted to just settle down for the night? Being bunnies is a bit silly, but.. it's what, noonish maybe?"

Metacheck:

"Assuming we leave that... town alone" kaji's tiny body shudders as her nose wrinkles in disgust. "I vote we just move along. There's plenty of daytime left."
She looks around at the group.
"Don't think we'll get much range out of these bodies though. From what I know bunnies are better at sprinting than long distance. Got any more of those workstations, Jonny? Or flying carrots, if you can customise. They somehow seem appropriate."

DerouX pulls out his map. "Alright then, where do we want to go? Neckbeard mentioned something about four generals, but are we really strong enough to take on one of them right now? And if we aren't, then where could we go to get stronger?"

Meta:

"This is what the map looks like right now. The green circle is where we are. Anyone see anywhere they want to go?"

"Well, we already beat one of them. If we decide to try and take them down, I'd like a bit more info before charging this time.
Personally, I'd like to visit the MMO Isle, and look up Rift. But that's more for my peace of mind than anything else. Neckbeard probably comes first. For the rest... from that map, it seems like we're in the unpleasant areas of Facebook, so further west or south might be less... well, less. So more. But less like this. I mean.... that."
Kaji points at the village, sure that by now she has lost any point she was trying to make.

Thalia hops over to DerouX to look at his map. "I think we should go south, then east. There's somewhere in the Forums I want to visit." As incentive, she adds, "I'll keep my randomness to a minimum until we get there, if you all agree."

"Uh, question? Why haven't we ditched you yet?" Sarah gripes, flopping back onto her haunches. Being a bunny sucks.
"She was annoying before, but now she's literally threatening us with her magical little mumbo jumbo if we don't go where she wants to go. Talk about great. This is moving past irritating and into dangerous."