Luna's Command: The Wibbly-Wobbly Saga

Uhh
I think?
I'll look at it
gimme a sec to look at it

Rolls:

Thing just incase:

Cobbled wanders over to the teleporter and tries to do a thing.
Does he succeed?
Idunno
Not yet anyway

Spoiler:

Seeing nopony else answering the blind pony, Grizzle looks back and forth and then frowns. "The room is, in an approximate shape, circular, about a one-hundred hoof radius."

As he finishes, a quick spark moves along the length of the pole supporting the keypad, dances around the keys for a moment, then causes the device to light up. "Greetings," it says in far too cheerful a voice.. "Identification: NIL, accepted. Please state your destination and step onto the telepad. Please also be aware that this device is linked into the mainframe, and so any questions you have about the facility or its resources may be answered upon request. ECHOs Throughout History!"

Spoiler:

"Interesting. I think you made it work. Bravo". Brilliant could have done that, of course. She just didn't feel like it at the time. More advanced crystal-tech, though. That was certainly troubling.

"This organization has a disturbingly-advanced magitek base. They're getting these crystals from somewhere and we need to figure out where". She turns to the device, "Database queries: ECHO command structure and leadership, crystal-based magitek, Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight". That should be a good start...

"The ECHO command structure is much more basic than it may initially appear as such helps ensure that little miscommunication may echo through the ranks, if you will pardon the pun." the computerized voice chirps. The slightest hint of an Appleoosan accent glids the words that come from the speakers. "At the bottom are the recent recruits, or "grunts" for lack of a better term. Whether working in the Scientific Advancement Division, the Tactical Planning Department, the Ideological Advancement Corps, or one of several other of our esteemed cells, the grunt performs their tasks admirably all while doubling as the basic infantry in our ever-growing army of justice. Without them, ECHO would never be able to survive."

"Each cell has one to three supervisors in charge of directing the grunts towards the individual projects in each field - in addition, each Supervisor receives specialized combat training in an effort to further diversify our ever-growing army of solidarity. Between the grunts and the supervisors are the soldiers - those who, instead of specializing in a specific cell, elected to serve ECHO's military forces 24/7. They receive intensive training and more specialized and powerful weaponry than the average recruit, and are expected to lead teams in the field."

"The supervisors," the machine continues, taking advantage of its lack of a need to breathe, "Report directly to the Core, a collective cooperation of extremely specialized and intelligent sapients directly responsible for guarding and informing our Leader, as well as advancing our cause in the outside world. Then, of course, is our Leader himself...the brave and intelligent founder of the Enemies of Chaos, Harmony, and Order: Nihl, the pony who will someday change the world!"

Perhaps the most worrying part of that entire computerized spiel was the ease with which one could hear the capitalized "L" in "Leader." And not a reluctant capitalization, either.

But the machine gives no time to respond nor ponder its words, instead launching directly into the next question's answer. "Crystalline Power-Transfer Supplies, or CryPTS for short, were long hypothesized to be constrained to the works of Magical Fiction. Though entirely plausible as theory, the technology necessary to utilize them was thought to be above and beyond anything Equestria or any other nation was capable of producing for the longest time. However, in the year 12 PE, the griffin Bigbeak rose above his unfortunate birth-name and submitted a patented proof of a working model. Utilizing a shape adapted from the unique structure of the Crystal Heart, which Bigbeak (later known as "Flamefeather" upon joining with ECHO forces) studied extensively, the device would cause any magical energy that came in contact with it to be automatically altered, allowing for it to be stored in virtually any crystalline form. The proof is as follows:"

Very quickly, the machine runs through a very complicated mathemagical equation. Very quickly.

"Unfortunately, the current proof only allows for a very small portion of the transformed energy to be stored, 12% at most assuming ideal parts and crystalline structure. Even so, the adaptability and reusability of the device and the near-overpopulation of magical fields within the boundaries of Equestria means that CryPTS are the absolute most effective potential energy source at this point in time. That being said, the Scientific Advancement Division is currently very hard at work attempting to advance Flamefeather's contribution to society at large, and we are very proud of them!"

"Your third query, unfortunately, was unable to be completed." The machine actually sounds a little sad as she...it...says this. "Further clarification is necessary. Please state the Time Zone by which the query has progressed."

"First can we, uh, sit down and process this?" Plug asks, attempting to snark but looking genuinely confused. Hard to tell through the mask and sunglasses, but there you go. "It's all a bit much to take in at once. I might just swoon."

"'Course!" the machine says, Appleoosan accent coming through loud and clear for just a second. "Take as long as is required. You may complete your query whenever you are ready."

"Uh...thanks."

"You're welcome."

Spoiler:

Brilliant furrows her brow at that. She has no reason to suspect the machine is lying, if it's even capable of such, but to have no knowledge of the leaders of Equestria? Such a glaring omission suggested ECHO's databanks were deliberately purged of that particular information. Destruction of knowledge; another reason to destroy ECHO. The device rattled-off that equation rather quickly but she thinks she caught enough of it to work from. "I'll see if I can make heads or tails of this equation. Wandering, could you give me a hoof? I would appreciate your insight into the matter... " Bigbeak... Now where have I heard that before...

Spoiler:

Wandering Eye stared at the equation for a moment before shaking his head. "Unfortunately, science isn't my best field, and the energies of this machine are different than from what I normally work with. Bigbeak seems familiar, though..."

Arcana Check:

History Check:

Though both rack their minds for information, only Wandering Eye is able to remember anything about any Bigbeak...no, wait...that was Bugbeak he was remembering. Ancient Griffin warrior, famous for his ability to use spears and tactics in battle when most griffins could barely do anything besides thrash about at random. A genius in his own way, but certainly no magimatician. The pony with the fascination of the outside cannot make heads nor tails of the equation, on the other hand, but Brilliant Shimmer...

...well, this is rather simple, isn't it? Obvious in retrospect, even. Of course the 3rd and 4th magical laws work this way when these variables are applied, and then naturally it follows in accordance with Clementine's Last Theorem that the storage capacity of any object is equivalent to its morphologic field raised to the power of its number of fractals in space and time...Brilliant finds herself finishing the equation even as she reads halfway through it, and wondering why it was such a puzzle in the first place. In fact...what, in all this apparent study by the "Scientific Advancement Division", nopony thought to apply the Elemental-Magical Paradox to section two of the equation? Eliminate some of the redundancy and...there you go! Storage capacity raised up to 17% of the magical power introduced! Foal's play.

Spoiler:

Brilliant blinks a few times. "Oh. I think I just revolutionized magitek and thaumaturgical theory for the next decade or so. I may not know this Bigbeak, but his work is sloppy. There were several inefficiencies in his geometric formula diagramming. You see... "

She launches into a seemingly-endless tirade of arcane technobabble that perhaps no pony except Wandering Eye can even begin to follow. She makes sure to leave the most important parts out, though, in case the device was recording them. No reason to help SAD. Now, she only had to figure out how to get her hooves on the real Crystal Heart; the power it could channel was difficult to comprehend.
 
"... so, as you can see, crystalline matrices have theoretically limitless applications for advancing Equestrian society! I need to publish this the second we get back to Canterlot!" She blushes, "After we stop ECHO, of course. Database query: Core and Nihl. Order. Crystal Heart. Also, can you bring-up a map of this facility with key locations and personnel marked?" Harmony and Chaos were easy enough to decipher, but Order? That was new to her.

Scorch decides to have a light nap during the long explanation, using the unconscious guard as a pillow...

"I'm sorry," the machine says as Scorch makes himself comfortable, "You queries cannot be completed until the previous queries have been settled or cancelled. Please specify a Time Zone by which the query has progressed or say 'cancel' to cancel your previous query. Then, please repeat your new queries. Sorry again for the trouble!"

Costume is lost completely during the equation and also has a nap. He's still sitting up.

Brilliant frowns at the teleporter. "Uhm... define valid parameters for time zone entry? Cobbled, if this thing keeps acting-up would you hit it with a wrench?"

"Valid parameters: any era of known history. The reasoning behind this parameter is to prevent an overload of information, only relate necessary knowledge, and to minimize confusion during missions in the field. ECHO apologizes for the necessity of this request!"

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere! Access mission database and input eras considered most relevant to current operational goals. Note to self: design better interface when revolutionizing Equestrian society".
 
Brilliant pokes the sleeping dragon and still-standing actor. "Wake up, I think this is the good part!"

"Huh? Wha- No, I'm awake! What're you talkin' about?" Costume says with a slightly exaggerated Manehattan accent. "'m just... meditatin' on the... magi...tek...nobable. Yeah."


Smooth, Costume. Smooooooth.

Scorch merely grunts, still awake to pay attention, but at the very least relaxing...

Not satisfied with merely being helpful, the machine in question proceeds to be as unhelpful as it can possibly, beginning to recount Luna and Celestia's birth (what details are known of it) and life with the smallest hint of negative propaganda (just a hint!) and continuing precisely as far as it is allowed...or until it reaches the present day, whichever comes first.

The speech in totality, considering the more-than-1000 years of history being roughly summarized, takes a little over an hour to complete.

Spoiler:

Wandering Eye shook his head, knowing he should have spoken up sooner. "Disregard stated time frame. New time frame: Present day." He then said to the group at large, "Well, the implications of that aren't good... have ECHO been operating all this time?"

Spoiler:

"New parameter accepted. Reading chronology." The machine pauses a moment before continuing. "My, this is a mouthful! Good thing I don't have a mouth, then, huh? Ahem...Princesses Luna and Celestia are the self-appointed rulers of the Nightlit Sky and the Sunkissed Soil, respectively, and the current ruling diumvirate of Equestria. Both are alicorns of considerable and supposedly equal power, though many have supposed that Celestia is the more powerful of the two. In current times, the princesses are..."

"Okay, no, horseapples," Plug interrupts angrily, or at least attempts to. The machine continues irregardless of how he feels, but he at least is more able to make himself heard. "This is all such obvious propaganda it's insane, okay? Maybe you all can't hear it, but I can, and...it wasn't funny six minutes ago and it isn't funny now. We need-"

"Shush," says Grizzle a bit harshly, keeping himself controlled. "This is important. This is how ECHO feels and why they do what they do. This is information on the enemy."

The machine continues in its own Apple-tinted way. "...and several other political projects as well. The majority of the population in this time period (subconsciously or otherwise) reveres the two alicorns as goddesses, owing to more than a millenium of propaganda alluding to such a supposed truth. Celestia and Luna are no longer the Keepers of Harmony in this time period, but are decided allies of samesaid force."

"Princess Cadence was the current ruler of the Crystal Empire, recently appointed, and sister-in-law to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Included in her capabilities are mind control and introduction of certain hormones responsible for romance into a subject -usually unwilling. Such powers were seen by the common pony as "rekindling romantic feelings", instead of artificially creating new ones, and certainly not as the abomination they are to any sensible system of ethics. This is likely due to the continued success of the propaganda used by the forces of Harmony."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Plug practically roars. Down below, the sleeping form stirs a bit, if anypony would but care to notice.

"Even supposing that the pony-on-the-street's assessment of her powers was correct," the machine continues quite possibly for Plug's sake, "Magically forcing somepony to feel a certain way is just as much an atrocity to any Choice as a 'Cutie Mark' are the concept of "destiny" are. Thankfully, with the continuing success of ECHO's current mission, Princess Cadence and her Crystal Empire have been removed from existence entirely!"

"Twilight Sparkle is currently living in Ponyville as the Bearer of the Element of Magic. She has not yet come into command of any kingdom nor principality, making her title as "princess" an unfortunate and subconscious expression of the mindset of the populace at large, if not another propaganda piece. She is, however, being groomed to be Celestia's successor and is a powerful unicorn in her own right, and has an extensive support network in place possibly greater than Celestia or Luna's own."

"Unless specifically directed to by mission parameters and accompanied by a specialized task force, confrontation with any and all of these four subjects is to be avoided at all costs. Assuming both requirements are met or the situation has moved outside of normal parameters, ideal protocol for engaging with these subjects (or any other 'alicorn', as the common parlance is) is to subject them to heavy psychic assault coupled with precise shots to the knees and wings."

"I don't believe this," Plug murmurs, turning and pacing between stalagmites.

Grizzle looks up, eyebrow raised. "Note the increased rate of propaganda around the mention of Princess Cadence." he indicated to the group at large.

"Query complete! Do y'all have any other queries for me?"

"Yeah, I got a question," replies Scorch from his resting position. "Could you define 'removed from existence entirely'?"

Brilliant is actually quite disappointed they don't have time to listen to the whole thing. It would certainly provide some interesting insights into ECHO's leadership, if nothing else. Her blood boils at the propaganda the machine spews regarding the princesses. Grizzle had an interesting point, though. "Yes. Also regarding Princess Cadance: what is the reason for your increased... ah, 'information' concerning her compared to the others?"

Iggy all the while tried listening to the tirade of the machine, but the longer it droned on the more Iggy's eyes glassed over (if one could see his eyes). Finally it came to the point that Iggy was just staring off into space with his jaw slightly slacked. When the machine finally stopped, Iggy's mind half snapped back to reality.
"The answer is 42!" he blurted out, ".....um before we have to sit through another lecture, can we get some info about how to destroy this place or maybe a way to extract all the information if not the computer itself so that we can sort through it when we're not in the middle of a crazy organizations base."

The machine has already started talking even as Iggy makes his plea - it's difficult to hear everything both of them are saying, but with so many ears amongst the group you all manage it as a whole. "To 'remove from existence' is exactly the same as 'destroying' and object, person, idea, or other entity," the AI(?) continues, not a hint of impatience entering its voice. "The only  difference between the two is that 'removing from existence' requires destroying said entity at or near the beginning of its lifespan, before knowledge of its existence spreads."

"In addition to possessing a specialized powerset unlike any other sapient, Princess Cadence was marked during her existence as an Opposition to ECHO's core philosophies, and thus were her powers studied much more extensively than several other subjects."

Spoiler:

"'Opposition to core philosophies'? It sounds like they consider her a bigger threat than Celestia. Is there a way to reverse the deletion and/or prevent it from happening again?" She considered repeating her other questions about leadership and the Crystal Heart, but decided to wait.

Spoiler: