Corrupted Wish Game.

you have no mouth and no need to scream.

I wish I was a ninja.

Granted you become part of a ninja clan. Your entire clan is then killed by one lone ninja.

I wish for a wish granting genie that speaks English, is not an jerk, and does not require knowledge of contracts.

Granted! But he lacks any real control over his powers. Sometimes they work as you want them too, sometimes they follow the wish to the letter, and sometimes they follow only the spirit of the wish (ignoring key bits of wording when doing so). Still not all that bad.

I wish, to no longer be Copper's slave.

Granted. Now you're MY slave!

I wish for my new slave to GM a campaign for me!

Granted: But because I"m running it.... The campaign dies before you hit level 2 becuase I didn't plan fast enough for it.

I wish for whatever you wish for twice over.

I wish to go blind in 1 eye.

I wish that joke hadn't been so easy.

Granted. It took your whole life; you just didn't know.

I wish someone else's wish would fet corrupted.

Granted, but the corruption of their wish somehow gives you cancer.

I wish my ex had taste buds in his anus.

Granted but he likes it, so ew...

I wish I hadn't read that.

Granted, the nearest person to you read it out loud to you because it made you go blind.

I wish all a**holes had tastebuds in their anus.

Granted. Because you made such an awful wish, you qualify as an a**hole.

I wish for something to go horribly, horribly wrong.

You spontaneously combust, and your worst enemy wins the lottery.

I wish for more Flutterbat.

Granted, but she starts sparkling in the sunlight...

I wish I had perfect teeth.

Granted you are now a sparkling vampire.

I wish vampires weren't so lame now.

Granted: YOU'RE lame!

I wish you'd keep using that word.

You mean lame? That's a lame wish.

I wishe that Epic was't so overused.

Granted. You keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means...

I wish you hadn't fallen into that little trap of mine...

Everyone fell for it and now everyone is lame.

I wish for a rodent of unusal size.

Granted. You're so tiny that even amoebas beat you up and steal your lunch money.

I wish that there was such a thing as a free lunch.

Granted. Now give me your lunch money; clearly you don't need it anymore.

I wish that were more absolutes in life.

Granted, but nothing really changes because religions don't care if they get proven wrong.

I wish I was a master player of the instrument commonly called the french horn.

Granted. Have some beans, you have a concert in ten minutes.

I wish it really did mean what I think it means.