Things Screwball Can No Longer Do in Pony Tales: AoH

540: No making up new Nightmares.
541: If I do not like the name of the NPCs, I cannot assign them catchy nicknames.
542: Translating foreign names into mundane English words counts for 541.
543: My Earth Pony knows of pegasi, they are not "The Wing-ed Ones of legend".
544: No making level 1 gods in otherwise mundane settings. This bears repeating.
545: No making level 1 gods in otherwise mundane settings. This bears repeating.
546: Redundancy is now prohibited.
547: Pegasi do not get a bonus to "winging it".
548: Pegasi are not culturally territorial animals.
549: Weed Whacker is a fine name for a pony, not a pheonix.
550: Unicorns are not jedi. Case closed.
551: If asked what I'm playing, "The Pinkamena" is not a party role.
552: "Town drunk" isn't either.
553: No one of the cast of The Rocky Horror Picture Show has a pony version. Especially not him.
554: No stopping lists in the worst times to annoy the OCD unicorn's p

555. No adding single elements to lists to satisfy OCD unicornness.
556. No adding two elements to lists to annoy them again.

557. I am not allowed to take Companion with the intention of using them as free sacrifices for blood rituals.
557.a. I am especially not allowed to choose "Orphans" as my Companion

558: I am not allowed to Dominate a creature, then have it use Dominate on me.
559: "The DM" is not a valid target for anything combat-related. Especially Domination.
560: I may only use "The Rainbow Dash on the entirety of my body. Not on a single hoof.

561: I may not min/max persuasion and choose "Celestia" as my lvl 10 personal form
562: Nor Luna, Discord or any of the mane six
563: I may not choose "Zombie Bunny" just to scare Fluttershy
564: Nor may I pick Human, even if there was one in the older serious
565: Nor any of my team mates
566: Just because I'm in bull form does not mean I have to attack the color red
567: ESPECIALLY IF IT'S A PARTY MEMBER/THE DMS SHIRT
569: I am no longer allowed to take the Shapeshifting Destiny when playing a persuasion character

570: Convincing the other party members to pool their Racials/utility talents into creating companions with 12 in specific skills is one thing, doing so in such a way that no-one has any utility talents except for companion and evolved companion is another thing entirely.
571: Tossing my companion into a chasm just because I've had a bad day is a bad idea, especially if it's the beginning of the session and an extended rest to fix it wont be happening in a while.
572: I am no longer allowed to create characters who control an absurd number of pigeons just to give the DM a headache, that goes double if I abuse the grappling rules to overwhelm the bad guy through sheer numbers and have them act as flying piranha.

573: I will not have a pig animal companion just so I can fly/levitate it when about to do something absurd
574: I may not have a pig animal companion named "Baconator"
575: I will not attempt to summon whales. Period.
576: I will not shout "Screwball WARP DIGIVOLVES TO..." when reaching level 10
577: I will not throw a stone randomly at my party members when they're about to level up and comment about how Everstones prevent them from evolving.
578: You may not interrupt the villain during his pre-battle monologue if it is less than a couple phrases long by going into a 30 minute long monologue about how you conquered death by beating it at Pong and thus became immortal, so its futile to fight
579: You did not beat Death at a game of pong.
580: OR table tennis.
581: You did not bed Death. Period.
582: Even if the rules allow it and I just read The Sandman, I am not allowed to make a magic circle to try and capture Death.
583: Or Dream.
584: If Death or Dream are captured, I am to refrain from talking, looking, thinking about or with either or attempting to play card games with them.
585: "Card games on Hippogriffs" is not a real olympics competition on the Equestria Games

586. "There can only be one!" is not an acceptable excuse to kill Princess Cadence.
586b. Or any other alicorn for that matter.

587. "She's so Mary Sue!" Is also not an acceptable excuse to kill Princess Cadence.

588. I am to stop trying to kill Princess Cadence.

589. Slaying one of the mane six does not make me an element of harmony.

590. Dogpiling is STRONGLY DISCOURAGED if any party members possess horns.
591. Tackling is not an appropriate response to seeing 'wingboners'
592. The idiom 'wingboners' is not to come up at all
593. Even if it IS an existent biological response to sudden excitement applicable to many adventuring situations, I personally have still lost my access to the word.
594. There is no way to leverage Poison Joke poisoning into extra utility talents.
595. If I somehow figure out a way around 594, the PH is well within his rights to drop a bucket of the cure on me

596. May not recruit more minions than there are ponies in Equestria before level 2.

597. I do not need to utilize every 'exceptionally powerful' combo in the system to 'stay ahead of the arms race'
598. If I do use every powerful combo, I may end up causing the arms race.
599. The arms race is not something I want.
600. When the absurdly powerful 1000 hp monster who uses AOEs capable of killing 3 ponies from full health with a single hit STILL LOSES to my party of four; I am to leave the call, and give the DM a week or two to seek therapy.

601.I cannot play a sea pony in order to get massive bonuses to make up for my lack of mobility.

602. My sea pony cannot be a unicorn sea pony.

603. I cannot use hydrokinesis to form a 1969 Pontiac GTO Judge out of water to negate my mobility issues.

604. I may not use hydrokinesis to form a 1982 Trans Am.

605. Especially not one that talks.

606. I may not use hydrokinesis to form a 1973 Harley Davidson Low Rider.

607. For all intents and purposes, I am forbidden from using any kind of hydrokinesis.

608. I cannot command the loyalty of all sea creatures.

609. The sea pony race is forever closed to me.

610. I may not play a pony named Applejack, even with the explanation that she's the modern Applejack's ancestor from the 80s.

611. I will at least attempt to solve a puzzle before smashing it any trying to force the door open.

612: Or just trying to simply open the door without any force if there was no puzzle to begin with.

613: I will not disregard the instruction manual when working the controls of an elaborate death trap while trying to save my friends from said death trap.

614. Celestia does not have a daughter name Aitselec who once stormed her castle
615. Celestia does not come back from death once every hundred years
616. Celestia is not weak against whips
617. Celestia is not Dracula
618. Celestia is not a vampire, AT ALL
619. 'Master of the sun is the least suspicious possible disguise for a vampire' is not a sufficient reason to suspect Celestia of vampirism; and is, in fact, not a reason at all.
620. Not allowed to make a character named Aitselec for 'unrelated reasons'
621. Not allowed to make a pony character named TOM Selleck either
622. EVEN LESS ALLOWED to make a non-pony character named Tom Selleck in a pony-based game.

623. Summon Tom Selleck is not an acceptable use of Magecraft
624. My character can't have anything to do with Tom Selleck
625. I am not to mention Tom Selleck

626. Mot Kcelles is also off limits.
627. As is Selleck Tom.
628. And Kcelles Mot.
629. My character's name cannot just be the alphabet.
630. Using a foreign alphabet just makes it worse.

631: Many tongues does not allow me to "fluently speak math"
631a: Same goes for the language of flowers.
631b: Many tongues is to be applied only to languages spoken or once spoken natively by sentient creatures.
631c: The above does not neccesarily include the Great Old Ones

631d: Many tongues does not allow me to speak the words, language or name of God or any deity, therefore allowing me to shape, create or unravel reality as I see fit.

632. Even if I somehow DO manage to speak the language of the gods, I can't use the divine powers that might be involved.
632a. There is officially no longer power in a language itself.
633. Before I start trying to use creation powers in ANY way, I should remember that I am not the only one with the powers - merely the most punchable.
634. Becoming 'BFFsies' with one or more gods is impressive, and may entitle me to benefits. Stealing or otherwise attempting to utilize their powers without their input is not among these.
635. #634 does not mean THAT 'Friends with Benefits'
636. Planeshaper is forever locked to me.

637. Even though I plan to invent a time machine with my level 10 Inventor destiny feature, level 10 me can't just show up whenever the party needs help.

638. I cannot use the Mind Sculptor destiny to turn party members into my thrall.
639. I may not use any of my Mind Sculptor features on party members.
640. The same applies to the Memory to Mist and Flashback utility talents.
641. I may not choose "blood" as the liquid I control for Element Master
642. It is bad form to draw or write on the face of a party member using Dream Stride.
643. Weapon, armor and trinket slots are not "use 'em or lose 'em"
644. Because of the above, there is no reason to buy a Training Certificate to receive the trait Gold is Power
645. I need a good explanation if I want to take a chair as my companion.
646. I may not take one of my limbs as my companion.
647. Even if I have the utility talent Mind of its Own.
648.I cannot romance any of the Spectral Steeds.
649.Taking the Protagonist destiny does not mean the rest of the party are just my sidekicks.
650. Both Strengthen and Weaken Substance may not be used on living creatures.

651: No one may ever megaspell Laughter again
652: If someone activates more than 4 uses of Laughter in any given instance, everyone has made a horrible mistake.