Web Warriors: Assault on Neckbeard's Keep IC

Gus sees more towns in the distance, and the long rolling grassy hills of Facebook.

Sarah wakes up in a daze on the cool grass of Facebook, eyes cracking open. Grass. Well, grass wasn't dirt. Again assessing herself, she rubbed at her temples trying to remember what had happened.

...I was 6.

Sarah's mouth opens in a panic as she recalls the events of her time as a 6-year ol- I SUMMONED LAGANN AROUND PEOPLE. I SUMMONED IZANAGI AROUND PEOPLE.

Rolling over on her stomach she brings her bare arms around her fa- bare arms OH GOD YOUR CLOAK THEY CAN SEE SENKETSU

Crunching up into a ball, she brings her arms around her head and winces, whimpering, hoping that it's all just a dream and that she can go home soon please please please.

After a few moments of that and the realization that no, this was.. perhaps not REAL life, but life nonetheless, she drew herself up to a sitting position and Senketsu's eye is moving around ugh oh god

A brief, audible panic attack follows as she flails back onto her haunches. After a few moments of staring at the eye flushed, she finally composes herself after her panic attack, and notes the eyes on herself- the ones from members of her party rather than Senketsu, anyways. She collects herself and coughs politely. "So I'm sure you were all wondering what that stuff was and uh. I have a confession to make," she begins, drawing into a kneeling position.

"I am a terrible, terrible weeaboo," she says, head bowed.

DerouX shrugs. "Whatever. I think we have a more pressing matter in what to do about Neckbeard. He taunted us, and basically told us exactly how to defeat him. I don't know about anyone else, but that smells like trap to me. And then there's what to do now. Judging by those words, this was a facebook group. Do we want to take a chance with another one, or should we try to get out of facebook, and make it to somewhere else?"

Copper Rose wrote:"Oh, you were trying to hide it, or something? Maybe I should have said something, then."

10/10, would kick again- Sarah willed her brain to shut up, and shrugs, ignoring the comment outwardly. A part of her brain argued that Sarah was smarter as a six year old, but the other part urged her to stop thinking.

Draco12387 wrote:DerouX shrugs. "Whatever. I think we have a more pressing matter in what to do about Neckbeard. He taunted us, and basically told us exactly how to defeat him. I don't know about anyone else, but that smells like trap to me. And then there's what to do now. Judging by those words, this was a facebook group. Do we want to take a chance with another one, or should we try to get out of facebook, and make it to somewhere else?"

Sarah thinks for a second, and stands up from her kneel in one fluid motion. "Even if we run into another Facebook whore, we can probably take her out the same way we dealt with that last one. We should see if there are less kill-ey ones out there," Sarah says, weighing in on the issue.

Jonny sighs staring at the sky.

"I tried to run that train of thought through my head last night. Unfortunately, he claims he's already won, and since we're in the internet, the 'most likely' situation in this case appears to be the Wily answer. He knows he has us 99% beat. And he really really wants to watch us squirm."

He rubs the bridge of his nose.

"Unfortunately, we don't have any information at this point on where to go or what to do. Our most logical move is probably to hit up one of the other tow- 'Groups' and see if anyone has any scuttlebutt on what's going on. So we'd probably be looking for newsfeeds or blog sites."

He grumbles a bit.

"For the record, this is still crazy and I'm still not sure I like this, but at this point it looks like our options are pretty limited. Can we just agree to not do anything too crazy without incentive? Like, for example inviting cartoon skunks into the 'camp site'. How did you guys even do that?"

Sarah pulls the Namae No Nai Sheath in front of her, showing it to Jonny. "I push the red button, I get a mecha. I push the blue button, I get... I think I called it Coatysnuggles? I push the green button, something terrible happens. I'm not pushing that one again. Like ever," Sarah says, putting it back on her waist. She folds her arms.

"I don't like the odds against that creep either, but he needs to be stopped. He's like the second coming of SOPA or whatever. Thing is as long as we're here, we have a real chance of getting rid of him, even if it isn't a high one. We gotta fight for our rights to do whatever we want to do on the internet, right?" she says, finishing her pseudo-inspirational speech with a winning smile. She furrows her brow and continues: "So as long as we have a chance, we can't go rushing in. His power level is probably way over 9,000-" Baaaakaaaaa "So it would be neat to get some info, yeah," she finishes.

Jonny gets to his feet, nodding slowly.

"The main issue right now is travel and goal. We have no idea what each Group has, and if we take off at complete random the odds are good we'll be moving away from the end target instead of closer. Of course, since our odds are just as good as bad, that's not really a discouragement. The other option to consider is breaking into small travel parties and trying to hit multiple Groups at once. The obvious problem with that is Never Splitting the Party. And considering how crispy fried we were after that last fight..."

Linear Analysis wrote:"I tried to run that train of thought through my head last night. Unfortunately, he claims he's already won, and since we're in the internet, the 'most likely' situation in this case appears to be the Wily answer. He knows he has us 99% beat. And he really really wants to watch us squirm."

"I dunno. I know this is the internet and all, but I'd like to think someone who is smart or powerful or whatever enough to do... well THIS"
Kaji gestures at the virtual world around her.
"would know to avoid that trope. Especially that trope. Also especially on the internet. I think he's trying to bait us."
She looks at Sarah.
"Right. No rushing. In fact, let's see if we can't find a way to off the bastard from a distance. This is the internet after all. Everything's just one URL away."

"I can manifest abilities from champions in League of Legends, if we're sharing what we can do. Oh, also, Neckbeard must have a sense of irony because whenever I do this-" DerouX beings swearing and cussing out Neckbeard. The vocabulary is fairly imaginative, and shall not be posted here. As he flames, his arm ignites in fire. "-That happens." DerouX finishes, his arm putting itself out when he stops.

"No, it doesn't hurt. Me at least." DerouX starts up the flaming again, and sends a small puff of fire towards Thalia.

"As fun as these powers are, maybe we should get going to the next facebook group? Jonny can be our eyes in the sky, and me and Kaji can scout ahead again." DerouX says, looking around for the nearest 'town'.

"Eyes in the sky. Pfft, I'd rather have satellite uplink."

Jonny rolls his eyes before moving up to float in midair a story or two up. He's going to lead wherever the merry band shall point.

DerouX makes sure he can communicate with Jonny through pings while Jonny is flying above them.

Sarah rolls her eyes and urges the party forward. "C'mon," she says, setting off at a brisk pace.

"Fair enough. We're not likely to get any info here. Onwards to glory! Or Lolcats. I hope glory."
Kaji sets off as well

The group sets off for the next town. This time things look a little different. This town looks much more modern and less homogenized. There are actually people out in the streets and walking around, and as you enter the town a man walks out to greet you.
"Well hello there fellas. I didn't think we'd be seeing many more people around here for a while. Ever since that Facebook whore showed up, we been having all sorts of weird things happening."

Sarah smiles faintly. "I don't think she'll be bothering you any more," she responds, offering a hand for a handshake. "I'm Sarah Keaton."

The man shakes back.
"Mighty pleased to meet you. My name's Robert. You can call me Rob, but please don't ever call me Bob."

"Jonny."

Nodding to Rob, still partway in the air.

"I don't suppose the weirdness includes flying and fireballs? We have a bit of experience with that after.. yesterday, I suppose. Time seems weird around here."

Woolie, meanwhile, (who has been silently and furiously scribbling in a notepad and not saying very much ever since shortly after the house disappeared), steps forward, still looking at his work even as he reaches out to shake Rob's hand. "Woolie," he says. "Woolie Madden. The legend." He looks up and smiles.

"Hi there. Nice town you got there, think we missed its name, though. What do you guys have going on around here, what other weird things? And what's wrong with the B-word?", Gus asks the man, gesturing the "o" and "b" letters.

DerouX looks around what he can see of the town. "DerouX," he tells the man, not offering his hand. "Do you have any idea what the facebook whore thing was all about? Or what's going on with the whole Neckbeard and his generals thing?"

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