Derp Quest: The First Muffin

You see an advertisement in the paper for adventurers, to find the First Muffin. It seems kind of silly, but the pay is good, so off you go.

Looking for the address included, you find yourself at... Derpy's House? It turns out to be a pretty simple affair on the ground, sturdily built. Stepping inside, it is moderately furnished and surprisingly clean.

"Oh! You must be here about that advertisement. Come in, come in, just lemme get these muffins out..." the grey pegasus invites you in, shouting from across a kitchen...

((I'll be doing this much like the LoEGC; meaning, you arrive in the order you post, and conversation/explanationgoes from there.))

Kogu didn't care about the reward so much as the prize they were to acquire. He has heard about this "First Muffin", and if it was truly as limitless as the legends said, well, what was to stop his employer from giving him access to the Muffin on a regular basis in lieu of traditional payment? Nothing, that's what.

That being said, he didn't really want to out himself as an alien at the moment; he had seen how that zebra had been treated, and if he was ignored like she had been, he'd never get any food from them. So instead of opening the front door, he hung right around it, waiting for somepony else who was applying to open the door for h-.

MOUSE!

Forgetting his mission entirely, Kogu started chasing said mouse (a surprisingly agile fellow) all around Derpy's house, eventually chasing it through Derpy's kitchen window - yes, I said through. Whatever glass was there shattered as Kogu lunged and landed face-first on the floor. So much for always landing on his feet... and the mouse had gotten away, too. Drat.

Stunts check to justify crashing through the window:

The window fails to shatter, but does have several cracks in it (When I said sturdy, I meant STURDY.)

You do, however, succeed in drawing Derpy's attention.

"There is a door here, y'know," she states with a hint of sarcasm, opening the window the rest of the way. "Although, I must admit I didn't expect a cat to apply. Muffin?" She holds out a pan of slightly burnt banana-nut muffins, still steaming from the oven.

Grey Pen wrote:The window fails to shatter, but does have several cracks in it (When I said sturdy, I meant STURDY.)

You do, however, succeed in drawing Derpy's attention.

"There is a door here, y'know," she states with a hint of sarcasm, opening the window the rest of the way. "Although, I must admit I didn't expect a cat to apply. Muffin?" She holds out a pan of slightly burnt banana-nut muffins, still steaming from the oven.

[Wow, that's one heck of a window!]

Unsticking himself from the splat on the window, Kogu does his level best to act like everything that had just happened was planned, licking his fur briefly to straighten his fur. He does sniff at the muffins, then gives Derpy a look that says pretty clearly "How exactly am I supposed to get them out of there?"

"Now now, don't play innocent with me; I'm not as dumb as I look. Clumsy, maybe, but not stupid. If you can put cracks on a 1/4 inch Lexan window, you can pick up a muffin easy," she challenges, leaving the pan on the stove next to you as she goes to put another pan in the oven.

Kogu is quiet for a moment, then chuckles wryly. "Congratulations, you're the first one besides Pinkie Pie to figure it out. Smarter than I gave you credit for. My mistake." Using his telekinesis, he lifts a muffin out of the pan, sticks it on the counter, and takes a very large bite, demolishing half the muffin. "Mm, 'ssgood!" He swallows, then asks, "So why exactly do you have windows that durable?" He then eats the rest of the muffin in one gulp.

You know what they say about cats and curiosity. XD

"I may be quite a bit smarter than I let on; that's intentional, though I'm putting the charade down for this," she replies, pulling off a pair of oven mitts. "I actually got invited to Ponsa before I moved here. But, there's no denying that I am exceptionally clumsy," she admits, trying to carefully set an egg timer; and dropping it, punctuating her statement. "So I decided it would be less costly in the long run to build a house that could stand up to it. Although, in hind sight, 1/4 inch Lexan does seem a bit overkill."

"Mm-hm, g't 't," Kogu mumbled through a mouth full of muffin; he had eaten two muffins during Derpy's explanation. He grabbed a fourth with telekinesis and took yet another large bite. "Where've 'ou b'n 'll my life? These're g'd eatin'!"

Cascade walks up to the door and knocks politely. So exciting! My first real adventure! And it's...wait a minute...why does this house look familiar?

Hearing a knock on the door, Kogu immediately stops levitating his muffin, doing his best to look like a perfectly normal pony cat. Thrackerzod called, he wants his catchphrase back.

Derpy opens the door to the blue pegasus. "C'mon in! What, did you think it'd be someone else? Though at least you used the door," she says, glaring back at the cat.

"Have a mu... Hay! Did you have to eat ALL of them!?" she admonishes, holding the empty pan. "I guess you'll have to wait for the next batch..."

"What is your name again?" she asked the cat. "And I might as well have your name as well, while we're at it. You both already know me of course."

"Mrowr," Kogu says smugly, hopping down from the counter with a smug look on his face and conveniently ignoring Derpy's question.

Grey Pen wrote: Derpy opens the door to the blue pegasus. "C'mon in! What, did you think it'd be someone else? Though at least you used the door," she says, glaring back at the cat.

"Have a mu... Hay! Did you have to eat ALL of them!?" she admonishes, holding the empty pan. "I guess you'll have to wait for the next batch..."

"What is your name again?" she asked the cat. "And I might as well have your name as well, while we're at it. You both already know me of course."

"Ditzy! It's been far too long." Cascade smiles and follows her into the house. "Oh! Uh, Cascading Falls. We worked on that storm some time back? Oh what a cute cat!" She steps over to the cat and quickly snatches it up, hugging it.

Acrobatics to sweep up a cat that no doubt does not wish to be caught:

[Doesn't matter. Nat 20 on opposing Acrobatics check, +9 = 29, which I think trumps yours given the Nat 20 part. It's always when I don't really need a Nat 20 that I get 'em, isn't it? XP]

Kogu is caught, but swiftly wriggles his way free of Cascade and runs away with an offended yowl.

"Yeah, that was embarrassing, wasn't it?" Derpy replies, blushing slightly at the memory.

Seeing the cat dash off, Derpy came up to admonish.

"Now cat, you can't keep up the charade anymore; I've dropped mine, you drop yours, or I'll have to take drastic measures," she threatens with a cold stare...

"Hmph. You're not the one who relies on that charade for food," Kogu replies huffily.

"No; I'm the one who relies on that charade to not have ponies either swarming over me to pick at my brain, berating me for being as clumsy as I am, or thinking I'm too high and mighty for them," the pegasus retorts angrily. "And besides, I just gave you a whole pan of muffins. And besides that, Falls here is going with you on this quest of mine, she deserves the truth too. And so does anyone else who ends up going. Now, what is your name, so I can stop calling you cat?"

"Food trumps social concerns." Kogu yawns. "Still, you do have a point. It'd be silly to not have potential companions know I can talk. I'm Kogu the Siberian."

((I don't know why I didn't think to call refer to her as Falls, that's much simpler than cascade.))
Falls just stares at the pegasus and cat conversing, before sidling next to the grey mare and whispering in a very confused voice. "Ditzy...your cat's talking...?"

"I'm a talking cat, you're a talking pony. Your point was...?" Kogu snarks. Not that he heard what Falls said, but really, it wasn't that hard to figure out. Even a dog could have figured that much out.

The Warrior of Many Faces wrote:"I'm a talking cat, you're a talking pony. Your point was...?" Kogu snarks. Not that he heard what Falls said, but really, it wasn't that hard to figure out. Even a dog could have figured that much out.

Falls just stares at the cat for a moment before gasping. "Oh! No, I'm...I'm sorry! I didn't mean any offense. It's just...most cats don't speak."

"Not my cat," Ditzy replies. "And no ordinary cat either; besides talking to us, I also know he's exceedingly telekinetic. Kind of like a unicorn, but a whole lot stronger." she explained, not looking to see the confused look on her friends face.

"'Course they do, it's just that most ponies don't bother learning Feline." Kogu yawns again. "Stream of apologies is unnecessary, though. I don't bite." He pauses. "Unless it's food. Then I do bite."

Falls opens her mouth to respond, but can't put a sentence together. After a moment she manages "So...why are you here if you're not her cat? Not to say that you're not welcome! Or not not welcome!...I..." Falls snaps her head worriedly back and forth between the cat and Ditzy, before dropping her head and adding a somewhat downcast, "I'm Cascading Falls..."

"I'm here for that First Muffin thingummy. Same as you, I'm guessing. Speaking of which, I'd like to forfeit the monehy you offered in exchange for having access to the muffin when I need food," Kogu informs Ditzy.