Re: The "OUT OF CONTEXT" game quotes.

Zarhon Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:06 am

Context time, I guess?

There, have some grass. Now you won’t suffocate or be lonely. To the unknown direction!

We were in a cave, and one of our party, Green Horn, who is a gardener, was afraid of caves / claustrophobic. Eventually, we found an exit leading to the sunny outdoors/forest, but we still had stuff to do (the "unknown direction"). So Night Owl, my character, picked up a flower/weed and gave it to the gardener to "socialize" with and to get him to stop being a wuss.

He named it Robin, and it is now our house/lvl3 boon.

“Why are you suddenly so brave?”

Reply to Green Horn, after he became uncharacteristically brave when faced with a giant rock snake in the cave, mentioned above.

“Oh, the usual, giant stone snake.”

Debriefing of said cave mission.

“Changelings like cash?”

Response to Mouse, who claimed we should offer money/bribe changelings (we needed to get into their hive).

“GET HER OFF GET HER OFF-WAIT WHY AM I WEARING A SOMBRERO?!”

First lines Night Owl spoke in the session - He was asleep/sleepwalking up till that point (weird narcolepsy). He was woken up by Mouse who jumped him, dressed as a changeling at a dance/costume party, prompting the terrified response. He himself was dressed as a Mexican, complete with sombrero, something he did whilst asleep.

RavenscroftRaven Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:15 am

The giant skeleton doesn't respond to your advances.

This was our party being totally paranoid, and was the entirely nonsexual version of the quote. It was a counter-party game, with two parties fighting each other, but they had to do so elegantly (it was a nobles' court, no outright killing unless done with perfection). It started with the DM messing up his choice of words: as we went to plant evidence on the opposing team's leader at night, she was asleep in bed. We worried she was faking it, so our dashing social rogue walked forward slowly with the DM noting "The sleeping woman doesn't respond to your advances."... Cue laughter. Since then, approaching anything just in case it was actually animate prompted the questionable wording.

He tries a few practice thrusts, and then mounts you.

Same game, counter-party games in 3.5 D&D are hilarious. I polymorphed into a horse to be a literal Trojan Horse (elegance and flair, remember) and was sold to the opposing nobles' stable, where their knight practiced each day. After finishing his lance warm-up, he hopped on my back.

Brony 7 of 9 Thu Feb 07, 2013 1:25 pm

Brony 7 of 9 wrote:
Bob is sorry and goes to rethink his life before falling off the tower.

This was from my D&D campaign, where my party was attacking a horde of goblins that stole their promised quest reward. They got to the top, where they were going to face a Goblin Underboss, some wolves, and his Bugbear guard (who I described as the goblin equivalent of mean cousin Bob who always used to hit you, and the name stuck). Rather than fight, the wizard used Instant Friends on the Goblin Underboss, which amazingly worked, and without his "attack" order none of the wolves would attack. Bob the Bugbear still wanted to fight, but they persuaded him not to, and as he walked forward, talking about how much his life sucked, he fell off the tower they were supposed to fight in and died.

Brony 7 of 9 wrote:
You have trained your whole life to fight well for your master, and here is this naked man from a boat made of crab fat.

There was this improv-meets-D&D show I used to go to a whole lot. This time I was just a member of the audience, but the session was still hilarious. The players were trapped on a deserted island, and were going to go through a portal back home, but the DM (who was of the Killer/Douche variety) said that they took too long and closed the portal before they could get there. The rogue ended up making a rousing speech convincing the islanders not to eat his party, and they decided to board the supply ship that the enemy was sending (some complex thing involving sacrifice) - and because they had no real supplies to make a boat, they slaughtered a bunch of crabs and made them into a boat, using crab fat and their own clothes to patch up the holes of this hideously ugly, yet somehow still able to float, monstrosity. They weren't smashed by the enemy boat and climbed aboard, where after slaughtering the crew, the fighter challenged the captain to a duel. This quote is what the DM said to the captain.

**LoganAura** Thu Feb 07, 2013 1:35 pm

"Shiny Neon Pink Elephant Butt Metal"- Fusion campaign.

Laughter effect. They hit the roll that means "roll once for everyone in sight and they get effected too". Hit that one about 5 times.

"Roll to see if you get her pregnant." - Classical Disruption.

Me, jokingly, since the PC and his NPC went off for some alone time. Ended up rolling a nat 1.

"We are the ELEMENT RANGERS!"

This makes just as much sense in context. it was a Big Lipped Aligator Moment on my part.

"I don't see what's wrong with sunburst, I mean he's bigger now. He was just fine then, but I do like him bigger. It feels nicer."

The PC got hit by laughter- grow to almost Alicorn size permanently- and his marefriend was commenting on hugs.
Classical disruption.

Well hung baby face -AoH

We're a bunch of dirty minded people, the Players commented that since one of the PCs, Soaring Song, was really big in wingspan, height, etc... He'd be big elsewhere.

DON'T. YOU. TOUCH. MY. COLTFRIEND!
-Various NPC females in classical

Lots of bitches on the other end who like trying to take their boyfriends.

And now for more out of context.

"... Did you seriously give a browbeating to the Element of Loyalty?"

And

"You made the elements of Generosity, Kindness, and Loyalty have a BIDDING WAR OVER YOU!"

Out of character comments on the original go through in Tatters of Harmony. Sadly, no more browbeating and bidding wars. sad face.

**Stairc -Dan Felder** Thu Feb 07, 2013 3:03 pm

If anyone wants context for the quotes I've posted, just post here asking about the one(s) you're interested in. Cool

Greywander Thu Feb 07, 2013 5:47 pm

Zerubbabel hopped off of his master's head and began playing a wicked drum solo on the pony's hindquarters.

Tatters of Harmony

You become sparkly like a twilight vampire

Classical Disruption

That's all I got for now.

Zarhon Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:45 am

"It's a pie, it's a food... What roll would you have to use when you're looking for food? Streetwise. Also, because it's plain pork."

"You can see the suffering in his unblinking eyes. You can almost... ALMOST... See tears fall down his face as his life leaves him. His heart cannot beat. His lungs cannot breathe. He is dying in the cruelest of ways."
"Alright, next time, we're not using on living beings."

"Can I just give myself to the enemy? They'll kill me quicker."

"Besides, you've got a kill count now. Rejoice!"
"That was eerily in character..."

"Now I've got a killcount!"
"Everyone, killcounts for all!"

"Flashpoint, why not set Dave on fire? It might be interesting to see how combustion interacts with immovability."
"Yeah, if I had a magic point, I'd cut him with my razor blades. But I don't."

"I'll let him use it to turn corpses into food and let him dispose of them that way, so long as he makes something suitably fancy out of it, like seacap sashimi, only not that, because these are griffons."

"I ask him if he's willing to work as a professional actor."
"You can see Dave reaching for his crossbow and he tries to shoot you."

"Technically, it's not cannibalism."

"Let's just say... full health and I'll have you have a surreal dream where you'll fight a spiteful salmonela virus."
"I should have cooked him first."

- Old King's News

We are the best spies.

**Oblivious** Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:15 am

"Oh, no...no-no-no-no-no. A thousand times, no. You guys keep asking me to knock you out, and I'm drawing the line here. The first time it happened, her tattoo started eating itself. Second time, our comatose friend got possessed and started doing...things, including a wrestling technique I've never seen, and the last one resulted in a pregnancy, and my chest nearly exploded. Even I'm not stupid enough to do that again."

- Pony Tales: Aspirations of Harmony Campaign, Season One

Cainx13 Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:37 am

ok, time for the next batch from me,

One of the Transvestites winks at you before disappearing

"I make one of the skeleton's arms wave at [name removed]"
"I faint."

"So I walk down the path, what do I see?"
"There is pure blackness until you see a pair of eyes open in front of you and hear a voice, 'HAAAAAIIIII'"
"I run screaming in the other direction"

"For I am Unprof!"
"Oh no, not him."

"You shudder in revulsion at the Undulating mounds of flesh you can see."
"Worth it"

Greywander Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:50 pm

Team Dain Bramage!

"'Sup, dain bro?"

Classical Disruption

Greywander Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:57 am

"Why am I still awake?"

"To make sure your fake horse girlfriend is alright!"

Classical Disruption

**Oblivious** Sat Feb 09, 2013 5:39 am

Well hung baby face -AoH
We're a bunch of dirty minded people, the Players commented that since one of the PCs, Soaring Song, was really big in wingspan, height, etc... He'd be big elsewhere.

You're missing more than half of the context. That was a joke that had been going on for more than two months at the time, and it finally culminated when Dan decided Chainmail would show her...appreciation to her quiet admirer. The whole thing started when Skype decided to play a joke on me, and cleverly censored my words, making everyone else think that Soaring blocked out the sun with his massive *bzzzt!*. What was actually said was "massive frame", but like Logan said, dirty minds prevailed, and started a running gag that persists, even today. To make it crazier, this occurred during Soaring's second interrogation, shortly after his second arrest within the hour. To top it off, Soaring was tied to a chair as Chainmail wondered what she would do with her "well-hung, baby-faced stallion," now that he wasn't going anywhere. Of course, Soaring had no clue what she was talking about, nor what he was in store for during the next three hours, at which time the rest of the party was dealing with actual plot-related matters. Oh, yeah, and I drunk off my ass during most of the session. Lots of craziness went on in and out of character that session, but it was so much fun, even if recalling some of the events started out fuzzy.

Greywander Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:46 pm

Got another good one.

but Page assured me that Arcana had a video of my birth and don't ask.

Classical Disruption

Edit: another one.

...I'm starting to think these potted plants are the work of someone far more sinister and cruel.

Classical Disruption

RavenscroftRaven Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:12 am

One of my favourites, (done at the top of the guy's lungs):

"PRAISE HEIRONEOUS, FOR I HAVE SLAIN THE LITTLE GIRL!"

Greywander Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:55 am

"The great and magnificent Doctor Claw hereby outlaws bathing, on pain of spanking! Free candy for the children! Now go, my peons, and have a nice day!"

Classical Disruption

Xel Unknown Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:07 pm

"Hey I'm not crazy, I'm just a Pyromanic!"

"I wonder what Lyra is like now that everyone got hands" - player

"Oh she wants hoove and to be a Centaur now." - GM

Both form Lunaris Civitas

Grey Pen The Flawed Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:42 pm

"Nice junk."

-Grand Line Adventures

Z2 Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:42 pm

"Wait, are we all evil now?"
*thumbs up from party member*
"Right, stupid question."

"MY BODY IS READY."

"Omigod guys, I have the best idea ever - but I need a stuffed animal."

"Dangit I want him to possess me!"

"I will go into town. I will buy a horseshoe shaped cushion. And I will make 'facehoofing' back into a thing.'

~Lunaris Civitas

Xel Unknown Sat Feb 23, 2013 6:53 pm

"Please don't make me laugh, I don't wanta die!" - GM

- Lunaris Civitas

Cainx13 Sat Feb 23, 2013 7:23 pm

'You didn't have to take a dump on the statue.'

'I use the silver icon on my hammer to knock them out while apologizing'

'I skin the gator. You know I'm keeping that on my character sheet.'

- Lost Crown of Neverwinter campaign I ran.

Cainx13 Sun Feb 24, 2013 3:03 am

"Are you really going to change in the middle of a crowded street?"
"Sure why not"

"there are many things one can do with a parasol"

"I could make a distraction while you tele it"
"Or I could hide it in my armor"

"Aw man, I don't want to have to dress in that."
"There are worst things, you could have been stripped in a prison and forced to pull out your gun."
"Where was it stored?"
"You don't want to know. But boy were they surprised when I pulled out the C4"
"what"

"This is not the first time I've had to wear a dress."

"There will be no flying."
"I teleport"
"shit"

"NUMBER ONE IN THE HOOD, g"

*cracks knuckels* "Relax, it won't hurt as much"

"We are programing you a Dragnuck"
"...what"
*vanishes*

-Fusion

Caden2112 Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:30 pm

"So we just turned into a perpetual motion machine?" "Yes. Made of pain."

Xel Unknown Sat Mar 02, 2013 5:27 pm

"You sell counterfeit socks?"

- Lunaris Civitas

Z2 Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:25 am

"I attack the darkness"
"It turns out the house is made of flesh and bone"

"Well, I mean, you have to be made out of something, are you SUUURE I can't kill you?"
"...I have to go to the bathroom."

"Well then, apparently my sword is the sword that will pierce the heavens"

"...the enemy is now a steaming puddle"

"I immediately head to the children's books."

"We rescued her from a nudist colony."

"WHAT HAVE YOU IDIOTS DONE TO REALITY?!?"

"Barehanded Lumberjacking: because badass."

-Lunaris Civitas

Cainx13 Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:49 am

“It runs on Plotnium”
“so it runs on asses?”

“what is with you and your killing style?”
“yhea, that’s funny coming from you”

“I just rambled about something for a bit”
“So I missed nothing”

“his turn is not a democracy”
“Unless he’s a drone”

“like dispensing condoms from the wall”

-The Twilight Trail

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